Best of the Best Gala Dinner

Hi guys

Went to the Best of the Best Gala Dinner last night. It's an awards ceremony for EY people and teams who've been recognised for doing great work. Naturally, I was invited!

It was at at Old Billingate on the Thames and was super fancy. It was black tie and no expenses spared on food, wine, champagne, cocktails and entertainment! Had so much fun!

Hope you enjoy the photos - I felt I had to add some classy ones to make up for my last blog with my undies!

Love ya xx

His own trumpet

I’m not sure that visitors and commentators at this blog site fully appreciate that they have their own personal editorialist and social commentator come critic. Not many could claim such advantage and certainly not many from the low socio economic environment in which most of you dwell. I am a gift, that’s for sure, and I’m taken for granted. I would be happy to represent you in your tribulations and at no great cost. It confounds me to not find suitors lined up at my door each morning or at the least my in box not full each eve. Just look at this picture of your advocate hard at work as both bloger and photographer and if that’s not enough, witness the following gem of political advocacy.

I win you Blogger Bastard

Trees planted as part of a federal government scheme to make offsetting greenhouse emissions tax deductible will not have to be native varieties and there will be no legal mechanism to prevent them being chopped down. This will be good news to The Rolling Stones who have been neutralizing their giant carbon footprint with investment in these types of schemes. It will be particularly pleasing to Ron Wood who became, by wont of his genealogy, more interested in the business than other members of the band (see enclosed photo)

The greens want the legislation amended so that trees that are planted to create a sink are natives, must remain in the ground for at least a hundred years and must first be subject to an assessment of the amount of water it would take to sustain them. Have you ever heard anything so unreasonable. Do they think that Mick and the boys have nothing better to do than to wait around a hundred years to get a hard wood on when essential songs are waiting to be sung. Thank god the Greens weren’t about in the sixties when in Sympathy for the Devil they were trying to Get a Witness.
Meanwhile a grouping of up to twenty countries will be announcing during the United Nations talks on climate change today, a call for billions of dollars of funding to nations that preserve forests. Well, themselves really and who among you can raise the argument against it. Headed up by Indonesia’s president Yudhoyono who has been sending entreaties to Yoko to cast off her widows weeds and become wife number nine thus fulfilling the wishes of her late husband John in his prophetic Revolution # 9. Yoko has been interested in carbon sinks ever since John was assassinated just after releasing an album of songs in which he acknowledged responsibility for household tasks such as child rearing and dish washing. I’m certain the sub will edit most of that but don’t you find it the most compelling part of the story. Chris Lilley I’m waiting for your call, lots of ideas mmm.

Meanwhile it’s almost certain that the story of Gong Wei and Huang will be made into an opera for which Jason Donovan will be called out of rehab to play the part of steadfast Kevin Anderson, Minister for Immigration. Kevin, who has preformed valiantly in the traditions of this arduous role would have been relieved by now and rewarded with ambassadorship of Zimbabwe except that his Prime Minister is anxious to impress on the electorate just what a bastard a Kevin can be. It’s my understanding that the story of Gong and Huang will be included with that of Brant and Todd in the federal government’s Citizenship Test to weed out potential terrorists and dole budgers. Bravo, oops, I mean great.

“Rent law revamp” saw me gulp for breath only long enough to read the rest of the headline, “to lure investors” saving me from hyperventilation. “Tenants will face swift eviction if they fall behind in their rent” oh year like tenants are the problem aren’t they, better off without them eh. “Non paying tenants can take up to three months to evict” so who can blame us for sending those Samoans over to remove the front door. Tenants will get reduced rent to host prospective buyers when they could be sleeping off hangovers on Saturday mornings and have greater rights to put up pictures and paint, in return they’ll pay water rates, which the same paper promises us are doubling. Great!

The good news is that another Australian child has become a world champion. Congratulations Casey Stoner and to your mum and dad too. I would put motorcycling skills before potty training every time and I’m far from the perfect parent.

Robert

PLEEEZE!

OH DEAR, HAS IT REALLY COME TO THIS? Two generations of the revered O'Keefe Dynasty reduced to lavatory stories in order to claim their fifteen minutes of fame. Way too much information if you ask me.

Meanwhile, I've just told my life story, complete with intimate financial and marital (!) details, to Centrelink, in the vain hope that they might deem me worthy of what we used to call the Old Age Pension. I've done this on line - I think - after my third attempt. So if a bundle of forms demanding that I identify myself to their 100% satisfaction arrives in the mail soon, I'll be very proud of my IT abilities and move on to my next step.

Chris, if you confirm your current email address to me, I'll put you in touch with my wonderful friend Kathy Donnelley who lives in Port Headland. She was a fellow teacher at ELICOS and for a brief moment thought she was the mother of Tony Abbot's baby. What a narrow escape!

Hugh

My Thames-scum-covered undies...

Hi everyone

As reported in my last e-mail, I went to the Thames festival over the weekend with Katy, Frogs, John and Big Andy. It was a great night, drinking (and peeing) in the street as we watched the colourful street parade, entertainers, dancers and fireworks on the Thames.

I almost fell in the Thames while squating to wee and my white undies and skirt were covered in green Thames moss - yuk! Here's the before and after shots...

Enjoy! xx Kel

THE BUGLE all the good news

Here for all you fans, the much anticipated September edition of the Bugle, enjoy.

In accord with Bunnings policy which states that no one member is any more important than any other, and in an environment which though not operating 24/7 is open for 65% of that, 110 hours a week, well beyond the 38 hour week they are willing to pay for, duplication is not uncommon. Duplication occurred this week in the form of a massive double (possibly quadruple) order for what for the want of a better title I shall call concrete products.

Concrete products which once consisted of Cement and Lime bagged, sand and aggregate loose, are now marketed in all manner of handy packages. As well as cement which we have in trade and domestic packs (a distinction I can’t explain) and lime, we have numerous products to which water is the only missing ingredient. Concrete mix, Sands and cement mix, mortar mix, render mix, quick set concrete mix (could be useful) quick set mortar mix (can’t imagine a use, maybe brickies on ice). To these add the specialty products such as Plaster Master, levelers and non shrink grouts (don’t worry if you don’t know what these are, your lack of knowledge probably means you are one of the lucky folk who will never need to use them) and more that even I don’t understand. All are packaged in handy 20K paper bags that must be kept away from their final ingredient, water, and owing to their irritating propensity to leak noxious fine particles, outdoors. The extended roof cantilever on the back wall, which in a more humane building would be called a verandah is the only home for these products and they must share this nest with fiber cement sheet – used to be known as fibro but now deprived of its carcinogenic asbestos fibers – particle board flooring known as yellow or red tongue and anything else that someone might shove there in empathy for its propensity to corruption under inclement weather conditions.

This double order of so many products has resulted in what I call The Great Wall of Concrete Product and I would be little surprised to find buried therein the remains of Chinese 457 visa holders who had the temerity to complain about the conditions of their slavery. This wall virtually precludes anyone entering the yard let alone purchasing or taking delivery of products. Normally such oversupplies of product are handled by promotion and display teams who spread them through the store on clip strips, those annoying hanging strips that snag your trolley at the supermarket, or side stax, even more annoying obstacles set up in stacks in what should be trolley isle space. Neither of these options lend themselves easily to 20K bags of noxious dust.

In true team sprit I have suggested a number of promotions along the lines of: Giving away twenty bags of concrete mix with every purchase of a power garden tool, judiciously used they could considerably reduce the gardening burden. Giving your choice of a bag of; concrete mix, sand and cement, mortar or render with every twenty five dollar or more purchase thus adding a satisfying weight to your trolley. I’m still waiting to hear from head office.

Aaah marketing! There’s most of an isle devoted to screws, “Isle three Sir, right hand side from the third bay”. Roofing screws, self drilling screws for timber and steel, tek screws, chipboard screws, self tapping screws, plasterboard screws, type 17 screws?, steel screws, wood screws?, and what? All purpose screws, look a lot like all those others don’t they, could this be an attempt to introduce some honesty into marketing or is it just another category when we seem to have exhausted all else? Recently a customer asked in all seriousness whether the Leichhardt in Lockwood’s Elite range of passage locks, was restricted for use only in that suburb. His accent betrayed him as a likely recent arrival from Eastern Europe which could excuse his lack of nous when confronted with the marketer’s stock in trade.

It can be very difficult to explain to customers, especially those with remnant Euro accents who like explanations, the difference between one passage set at $18.99 which looks just like another at $48.99, without going to my fallback position that the marketers know that some customers want the most expensive whilst others like the cheapest and pleasing the customer is uppermost in a marketer’s job description. Needless to say this is not the answer they are looking for but it’s proved disarming enough in most cases to give me time to escape and escape is the name of the game.

At a recent team briefing the question was asked “what is the safety issue of the week” and whilst inspired by my lust for Freddos I tossed up whether to put forward the lack of proper ventilation which was seeing staff and customers freely passing a virulent flu which was decimating staff levels, or the potential for the spread of typhoid and dysentery from the disgustingly inadequate gents toilet, I was gassumped by another staff member who correctly identified “failure to lock ladders” as the excessively freddo rewarded, sought answer which I thought could have been a safety issue in its own right. This led me to cogitation on the significance of the letter H in the acronym OH&S. It also led me to this comprehensive critique of The Gents at Bunnings.

On weekends with up to sixty staff and maybe three thousand customers a day this three bail and two man -for once I can confidently say that- urinal, toilet is seriously stressed and it shows. You’re never alone in this room. Those wanting to have a leak only are forced into the bales where the seats will not stay up unassisted and thus pee stained when confronted by those with more serious business, is it any wonder that perilous squatting becomes the preferred stance and broken seats the end result. Last Saturday someone who was exceptionally bold or who had very loyal friends/family actually left a perfectly formed turd in the middle of the urinal where, aided by our ecologically sound water free system it lasted intact for the rest of the day. Now maybe I’m being a little too sensitive here but I’ve traveled in Asia, economy class, and some years ago now, and I don’t recall conditions as deplorable as this.

Having dealt with the logistics lets take a look at the décor. Faced with an ongoing campaign by some disgruntled team member to defame, in texta on toilet grey cubicle walls, another member as a pedophile, some clever bod came up with the idea of painting out toilet grey with Bunnings green murk. Good idea, poor execution. As I’m fond of pointing out you can paint almost anything if you just comply with the instructions on the can. These instructions rarely stray far from the following. “Apply to a clean dry grease free surface. Sand before and between coats” but who needs to know this. The bunnings bog painters could certainly have benefited. Right now it’s possible to lift a corner and peel square feet of plastic paint as satisfactorily as sun burnt skin. Mmmm. Some graffiti would look good here.

I’m sorry about all that, I realize you didn’t need to know but I just had to get it off my chest. Now as I know your dying to know here’s the sore foot report. It’s not yet certain but it’s looking very much like gout for which I blame John and Hugh. Well it’s hereditary you know and if they hadn’t had it I probably would not. Rich food and alcohol, who’s ever heard anything so ridiculous. I may have to edit Wickapedia. Hard work and economic jurisprudence more like it.

Robert Later (it’s bankable)

P.S. just back from the doc, it’s not Gout yet, just encroaching arthritis for which she’s prescribed Naprosyn. Wish me luck.

Its different here in WA

Bungle Bungle


This "freshie" similar to the one seen this morning


We crossed the border and arrived here in Kunnanurra on Wednesday. It is like being in another country. At the border we are met by the WA police as well as by the quarantine authorities who search the car and caravan for fruit, vegetables, honey etc. Then the police breath test the driver, want to see drivers license and record the detail of license and registration, "welcome to WA". I was going to ask where the duty free store was. Then all of a sudden it is one and a half hours earlier than before. In the NT the sun has been rising about 6.45am and setting about 6.45 pm. Then the next morning we are woken by the sun as usual but it is 5.30am and then it is dark at 5.30 in the afternoon. By the time happy hour comes around you are really hanging out for it.

Then at 7pm we watch the ABC news and the major news item is "will the West coast eagles beat Collingwood". This really took up the first 4 minutes of the ABC news. But wait then you get to the sports news where the same store is on again but in more detail. The Rugby and Soccer get a brief mention but not a word on the League finals. I have not seen a local TV program but there has been no promotion or advertising of League even on channel 9.

We are really enjoying being here though, it's hot but you just stay in the shade and get an occasional breeze and fall into the shady pool from time to time. Kunnanurra is a new town so is clean and tidy with green grass and lots of water around. We went to the local markets this morning and a huge choice of local good qualitr fruit & veg so we stocked up. The caravan park is located on a lake and there is a dog exercise are where they can have a swim. People say you don't need to worry about the fresh water crocodiles in the lake as they wont harm you. But when there was one, about 1.5 meters long, laying on the bank about 50 meters from our van this morning when I took Olly for his morning walk, who casually slid into the water and drifted away as we approached, I am having second thoughts about how much they might like a Maltese(r) for breakfast.

We had a flight over Lake Argyle, the Bungle Bungles and the Argyle Diamond mine yesterday, which was fantastic. Also drove up to Wyndham after the flight, it was very hot but scenic.

Photos attached show what its like. There are more photos on facebook for those who use it. love Sue, Chris & Olly

Stephen Out of Range

Having a beer at sunset at Darwin trailer boat club.

For those of you who like to contact Stephen on a regular basis or just like to keep informed, Stephen has a new job that has him uncontactable for two out of every three weeks. He has taken on a job as a gardener at a Paspaley pearl farm located at Kuri Bay on the north Kimberley coast of WA. It is a fly in fly out position with him working 14 days straight and then having 7 days off. The location can only be travelled to by a float plane. About 40 people work there who live either in Darwin or Broome when not at work. There is no mobile phone service, TV, internet etc. He started his first shift on Friday September 15th. He is happy about trying something new and it is the best paying job he has ever had. He had a couple of job offers in the NT to choose from as there is plenty of work available. I have attached this photo of us which went into hiding on the last blog, so you may not have seen it. Bye for now, Chris , Sue & Olly.

relative stuf

Wow Great video sue, get Chris to put some oil on the crank and it will be perfect.

Observing the difference in our blogs its obvious we are in different countries. You might as well be in Greenland, albeit a very warm one as it’s becoming or I might be in Hell

Glad to see you’ve heeded my advice re your dangerous fellow travelers and have opted to hang instead with the relatively peaceful fauna. Olly, stay alert and alarmed, on your toes with your eyes peeled and remember the responsibilities of mans best friend always. Meanwhile have a good time.

Great picture of the Aboriginal flag.

Later Robert

Try apec of this

I’m still working on this theory but I think Annabel Crabb has satiated my need for humor and left me without the capacity to make a joke. Annabel, for those living underground without the benefit of light, is the wooly headed lass who’s editorial commentary in the Herald has put into words the delightful comedy that we once knew as politicks. It’s she who coined “heavy metal Barbie” (I wish it had been me) and made capital of Foreign Minister Downer’s giggled “glad I wasn’t born a panda” comment.

This morning’s paper with Annabel’s clever version of the Driaza-bone inspired “Man from Snowy River” seemed to indicate that the Event including the after party was over and the guests had all gone home so imagine my surprise when crossing the bridge sometime after mid-day, I had my progress halted by a motorcade. I suggested to Alice, with whom I was lunching at McMahons Point (Mmm executive lifestyle), that probably any minor dignitary who could put together four or more cars for an errand during these next few days would easily get the co-operation of the boys in blue to form a motorcade. It was no surprise to me then to be delayed once more by motorcade on the south bound trip. It turned out that Janet had left the oven on at Kirribilli this morning and John had to rush home to save the roast, more than enough reason to keep the choppers in the sky over the opera house and to call in a FA18 from Richmond.

Any of the visiting world leaders struggling with their own fascist dictatorships must have been more than favorably impressed with NSW’s brown er, blue shirts, well blue boilers really. Just as well none of those Middle Eastern countries where we and our allies are trying to enforce democracy were there to see the local version. The ideas they might get. Overall though, when the stock-take and audit is finished, I think we’ll find that the Chaser team won and I would suggest that if the commercial stations have any cleaning or maintenance to do that they take advantage of the 9:00 PM slot on Wednesday night when no one will be watching them.

While I’ve noted before that in my more traditional hardware corner of Bunnings the big games are fly screens in summer and weather strips in winter one off events can create their own bulge. For APEC it was chain and its associate padlock. From weeks up to and including this weekend deputations from all divisions of the police, RTA, Railways and APEC badge wearers themselves, threatened supplies to the extent that I began to wonder, were they really only locking down plant pots and anything else that moved or were they trying to buy up the complete chain harvest and thus deny the protesters the tools of their trade.

No matter to Bunnings I’m sure who after a disappointing fathers day registered bumper sales on, APEC day, if that’s what we call it, and the following Saturday. Bunnings and The Herald who recognized and capitalized on a once in a lifetime opportunity to sell two $2:20 weekend issues have hired PR to lobby governments to make all long weekends Friday-centric. They’re also encouraging the idea of governments declaring additional one off holidays however this is likely to meet strong opposition from mining and manufacturing and mining and mining companies who have yet to see a return. Its sometimes surprising to note how much influence Australian manufacturing companies, from their base in China, have in a marketplace dominated by miners. “Yes yes give them more holidays, certainly yes”. “what?” “ China! Oh no we would have to leave that up to the Chinese Government…snicker”

Well that appears to be all I have to say for now. More than enough for you I know but as I have no other audience and you have no other ranter so be it. Until one of us finds better; asta la vista amigos, I’ll be back.

Robert

Video Blog

Now that the blog takes videos I thought we would give it a try, so here goes,
Chris, Sue & Olly

Katherine Calling

style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh37ByNcjESgRUOz30lGgGa9if-avgarMnjQ6Es16sCQi8ZDgWHgaQ0hk1FiXJ_vPzc91wkORWU003UNqE6z-R52lN4HgPbp_RnLrBtS_iwdNQuxsKooZurwD0yU-IEoEcBGfo/s200/DSCN1840.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5108046912783779314" />



Hi all, we are on the move again after spending 6 weeks in the Darwin area. We had a great time at Berry Springs lots of swimming, relaxing, drinking, meeting lots of nice people and sightseeing, Chris even scored a bit of work, not that he was looking for it. Fatima and Adam who run the bistro at the van park asked him if he could design promotional flyers and menus on his computer, which he can and he loved doing it, in lieu of payment they fed us, at the father’s day lunch with wine, which was much better.

Darwin city is very laid back, lots of Aborigines in the parks and sitting around the streets under the shade of the trees, its hard to remember that this is a capital city, although as they do tell us they do own much of the land up here and they can do what they like, except drink. NT has brought in new laws, curtailing how much alcohol they can buy and trying to clean up the place. They are building a convention centre at Darwin Harbour which will be a very nice place to be as there are great restaurants at the wharf where you can sit and watch the sunset and they will also have a wave pool a bit like what they have done in Airlie Beach and Cairns so it will look spectacular when completed.

We didn’t get to Kakadu, we have been there before and I’m sure it hasn’t changed, having Olly stops us visiting National Parks unless we put him in the kennels for a few days, but we are not keen to do that, we did sneak him into Litchfield National Park, but far too hot to leave him in the car for too long. We also drove to Adelaide river where they do cruises to see the crocs, there is about 4 companies now that do it, well, we didn’t have to pay to see one, there was a 4 metre croc just lying on the bank 6 metres away from us, then in a dam just off the road, we stopped as there was a caravan parked and thought we could have a cuppa but guess what was swimming there, it was a freshwater croc there not as big, it was only 1 metre, but still with Olly not a good place to pull up.

For our last night in Darwin we picked SOK up and went to the Trailer (NOT TRASH) Boat Club and watched a beautiful sunset had Barramundi for dinner and had a few coldies, what a perfect way to finish off a great stay.

When we left Berry Springs we spent 2 nights at the Daly river Mango Farm, which is a popular fishing spot 180 klm south west of Darwin. These places now are almost empty, it is getting too hot for a lot of people to be up here its 30 to 35 degrees most days and humidity is somewhere between 35 to 65 so this makes van parks really enjoyable, at this place there were only 6 vans most of them fisherman who have been up here for 4 months but getting ready also to move on as this place closes in October, that’s when they will start picking mangoes which the trees are in full bloom, it takes 100 days for a mango to ripen from the day of the first bud. Then the rising river is a problem there is a massive weir that you have to cross so people living on the west side of the river which is about 4000 have to get there cars to the other side and commute by boat it would be amazing to see, who knows one day we might. Anyway I asked the owner how safe is it to go fishing off the pontoon, he said how fast can you run, there is about a 5 metre croc which lives under there, he suggested I go to the boat ramp where you are up a little on a bank and it’s a little bit easier to run away, so off we go. I lost a few hooks and sinkers but had a few bites but didn’t land anything and I only got a little concerned when the water by the riverbank started to go muddy suddenly so we thought it a good idea to pack up, somehow I’m starting to agree with Chris that buying fish in a shop is so much more appealing.

We are now in Katherine staying at Springvale Homestead which is in a really nice bush setting with lots of wallabies, probably go to the springs this afternoon. We are waiting on mail to arrive so hopefully it will be here on Monday. Then we are off to Kunnanurra, a place we have never been before so we are both looking forward to that.
There is no such thing as water restrictions up here, sprinklers on all day the grass is green the rivers are full, so every opportunity we wash the car and van as the red dust sticks to everything, at first you felt a bit guilty using all this water but there is so much of it up here it is the norm.


I guess the O’keefes don’t here from SOK very much so I will fill you in. He looks extremely well and fit, he has applied for a few jobs, one of which he got as a pest controller (flick man) earning good money and he would be trained in other fields different to gardening which would help him on his journeys around Australia but he told them he had applied for 2 other jobs and out of courtesy he should wait to see if he gets an interview, which they accepted. The other job he applied for was a FIFO, fly in fly out as a gardener/ general hand person on a pearling farm in Port Bremer try and find that on your maps and he got an interview with them, he didn’t get that one but what he was offered then was also a FIFO job on a pearling farm in the KIMBERLEY, where you work a fortnight on and 1 week off and that will just be gardening, this all happened yesterday so I think he will know in the next few days about this job and he seems very excited or as much as he can get excited about this, we will let you know.

Well its just gone 1pm and I’ve finished the washing, Chris has given Olly a bath, it is so hot I think we will go for a swim.

Bye for now Sue Chris and Olly xxx

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HUGH

PS hope you like the photos

Bring your sleeping bags

3:40PM Tuesday
BLB! BLB! GULP! GASP! CHOKE! AAAaaahhhhhhh! I can breathe again. The phone has been down since Thursday and it felt like having your head held under water.
I’ll appologise in advance for the length of this and but what else can I do? This drivel just keeps on seeping out of me. Here it is.

I’m sorry but there’ll be no blog tonight, I’ve got a very sore foot, my phone’s disconnected and I have to wait an hour for The Side Show to come on. Allow me here to score the TV alternatives on offer this Saturday evening to this salt of the earth worker needing to unwind at the end of another week’s labors. To understand better the scoring system you need to know that the numbers represent the number of fingers stuck down my throat to induce a vomiting sound like Aarruuuuughh! Channel 7: Bruce Almighty (1.) (might have some good ads), Channel 10: something called Ncis about sunbathers and murder (3.) Channel 9: The Dame Edna Treatment (5.) SBS: Athletics (4.) ABC: The Bill (6.) (yes I’ve included both thumbs.) Have to say though that tonight’s Dr. Who was excellent.

Whilst on the subject of regurgitation and chilling after a hard weeks work, what a load of bollocks (do English boys still use this term Kell?) is this Andrew Johns affair. Does anyone who’s ever been to the pub think that there’s someone out there of Andrews demographic, who does not or did not take recreational drugs with their beer? Just ordinary guys and girls I mean, not to mention those who are buff and who’s image makes the tabloids every week. Add to this the pressures of being an elite athlete hero with a weekly work schedule that culminates in an exceptionally well paid, bruising, tension filled finale. There would be very few who could survive this schedule unaided by drugs and fewer still experiencing such privilege at so tender age who could find reason to resist the encouragement of their peers. Is it possible to imagine a time when press, clubs, coaches, league, church and politics can abandon this hypocrisy, accept that drugs are every bit as much of modern life as sex alcohol and the computer, and stop forcing those who we claim to love so much into living such bi polar lives.
Lets face it, even blatant drug usage could not much affect our enjoyment of a game of footy and cricket could only benefit. If that’s not enough then just imagine the benefits to be derived from science and the drug companies having real live athletes instead of rats to test there stuff on. Any of you who might protest “what about the poor athlete” I can only say “where were you when they had to get up and train at 4.00AM.”
It appears that I shall have to survive this weekend sans internet owing to the total disintegration of phone reception. There’s a story in this but as events are still unfolding it’s a story you’ll have to wait for just as I shall have to wait till Monday at the earliest for my next transfusion of internet blood. Meanwhile you may find me up in Enmore Road, sweating profusely and pacing outside the Laundromat or any other internet provider. I’ve never had to street score before.

Next day

How prophetic, this afternoon when at last I found time to read the weekend herald, I read Lisa Prior’s editorial and discovered that we were simpatico, or to put it in more theatrical terms we were like “that” (enter stage right a hand, closed except for the index and ring fingers which are fully extended and in close contact). Overcome immediately by the desire to write and congratulate her bravery I leapt to Mr. Computer only to recollect her lack of inter-net-connectedness and return dejected to Opinion and Letters.
I couldn’t concentrate and when I reached the letters that commented on this farrago it only reinforced my desire to show my support in what was bound to be the hostile environment of tomorrow’s letter’s page. I typed up my missive being careful to play to my impression of The Herald editorial prejudice, and toyed with the idea of hand delivering it to, where? My street directory doesn’t have a listing of post office box numbers. Back to the paper but when neither Leunig nor Annabel Crabb could calm my restless desire, I realized I had to go to the Internet Café, or in my case the Internet Laundromat, and score.
Like all tragic novices my first attempt was a complete failure. I clicked on the fat blue E, I viewed screens, clicked some more but got no where. Too embarrassed to ask advice I left with my tail between my legs though on the up side, with my laundry under my arm. Apparently for some obscure reason Father’s Day is a quite one at the Laundromat and my clothes which normally would not be ready till tomorrow were all they had to do.
Back home, crestfallen but no less restless, I decided to call Alice the only one who might understand and commiserate with my predicament. She did even better explaining, as you all knew, that to score I would need an account, and generously she offered me hers. Thus emboldened I returned to the Laundronet / Intermat and with the aplomb of Intermaster dealt with this trifle. Now all is calm as we wait the new dawn and the papers that accompany it.

Meanwhile if you want my advice stay away from APEC this week. There’s far too many police down there who’ll want something to do and if they don’t get enough protesters to try out there new powers on they may just nab anyone who comes near enough to their web. Bunnings last Saturday gave me a bit of foresight of what it would be like. The day before Fathers Day, potentially the biggest day in the hardware year, all the bosses came to make nuisance on the floor. You could not look anywhere without spotting a coordinator and it took great self control to avoid eye contact with the accompanying instruction to perform some feeble task to gratify their egos. It didn’t take long to realize that not many dads were going to unwrap a gift of screws, nuts bolts and nails the next morning, no matter that they would make a very masculine gift, and consequently this left our corner of the store sparsely populated only with those who in the crowded conditions could not fit where the goods they wanted were located. The cash registers were overheating almost to the degree of the coordinators. Had they taken my advice they would have given the goods away and charged only for parking at a timed rate. Of course no one does takes my advice.

APEC’s tentacles have reached all the way to us here at Stanmore. A couple of months ago a contractor dug a foot (300mm) wide six inch (150mm) deep trench along one side of the under rail pedestrian subway at the station. Since then we’ve been protected from this - er experiment? I dun’no - by a row of those yellow trestles with the black and yellow diagonal striped fluorescent plank between. This was obviously not good enough for APEC who saw that Stanmore demonstrators might use these planks and trestles as weapons and wisely brought in a length of their fence to enclose them. I personally feel much safer.


I bought a strap for my camera and its got this brand whatever it is all over it. Jack said it was some sports or surf brand but when I saw this poster I started to worry. They look more like druggies than sporties. What’s that? OK I’ll try to get over it.

That’s all, I said that’s all, cum’on wake up that’s all.
Robert

The Passage of Time

Well, folks, just a quick note to say that I'm delighted that the Government has declared a long weekend for my Very Major Birthday. Yes, yet another pensioner will be added to the National Debt next Saturday. Jan Hupfau (whom I love more and more) has offered to host it at her horse stud at Rutherford, just outside of Maitland, so I'm going up there on Thursday. There will be about a dozen of us, so we're looking for a jolly time and the odd glass of bubbles.

Oh, so far her horses haven't called in sick, but I hear a rumour that this year's Melbourne Cup will be run at Phlegmington - bopom tish!

Hugh