Try apec of this

I’m still working on this theory but I think Annabel Crabb has satiated my need for humor and left me without the capacity to make a joke. Annabel, for those living underground without the benefit of light, is the wooly headed lass who’s editorial commentary in the Herald has put into words the delightful comedy that we once knew as politicks. It’s she who coined “heavy metal Barbie” (I wish it had been me) and made capital of Foreign Minister Downer’s giggled “glad I wasn’t born a panda” comment.

This morning’s paper with Annabel’s clever version of the Driaza-bone inspired “Man from Snowy River” seemed to indicate that the Event including the after party was over and the guests had all gone home so imagine my surprise when crossing the bridge sometime after mid-day, I had my progress halted by a motorcade. I suggested to Alice, with whom I was lunching at McMahons Point (Mmm executive lifestyle), that probably any minor dignitary who could put together four or more cars for an errand during these next few days would easily get the co-operation of the boys in blue to form a motorcade. It was no surprise to me then to be delayed once more by motorcade on the south bound trip. It turned out that Janet had left the oven on at Kirribilli this morning and John had to rush home to save the roast, more than enough reason to keep the choppers in the sky over the opera house and to call in a FA18 from Richmond.

Any of the visiting world leaders struggling with their own fascist dictatorships must have been more than favorably impressed with NSW’s brown er, blue shirts, well blue boilers really. Just as well none of those Middle Eastern countries where we and our allies are trying to enforce democracy were there to see the local version. The ideas they might get. Overall though, when the stock-take and audit is finished, I think we’ll find that the Chaser team won and I would suggest that if the commercial stations have any cleaning or maintenance to do that they take advantage of the 9:00 PM slot on Wednesday night when no one will be watching them.

While I’ve noted before that in my more traditional hardware corner of Bunnings the big games are fly screens in summer and weather strips in winter one off events can create their own bulge. For APEC it was chain and its associate padlock. From weeks up to and including this weekend deputations from all divisions of the police, RTA, Railways and APEC badge wearers themselves, threatened supplies to the extent that I began to wonder, were they really only locking down plant pots and anything else that moved or were they trying to buy up the complete chain harvest and thus deny the protesters the tools of their trade.

No matter to Bunnings I’m sure who after a disappointing fathers day registered bumper sales on, APEC day, if that’s what we call it, and the following Saturday. Bunnings and The Herald who recognized and capitalized on a once in a lifetime opportunity to sell two $2:20 weekend issues have hired PR to lobby governments to make all long weekends Friday-centric. They’re also encouraging the idea of governments declaring additional one off holidays however this is likely to meet strong opposition from mining and manufacturing and mining and mining companies who have yet to see a return. Its sometimes surprising to note how much influence Australian manufacturing companies, from their base in China, have in a marketplace dominated by miners. “Yes yes give them more holidays, certainly yes”. “what?” “ China! Oh no we would have to leave that up to the Chinese Government…snicker”

Well that appears to be all I have to say for now. More than enough for you I know but as I have no other audience and you have no other ranter so be it. Until one of us finds better; asta la vista amigos, I’ll be back.

Robert