Reminiscence

Independent of our labours in the Northern Rivers dairy farming community, and in common with a great percentage of it, we were practicing Catholics. Never paid professionals as the clergy, we only ever played in the amateur league. Sundays were the sacred days on which we went to the game, err, mass at Goolmangar church where we were lucky to have our own field and coach. Now as disparaging as this may sound, I and many of our 'flock', I suspect, did find this spiritually uplifting though not necessarily for its religious context.

For my own part and in spite of my position as vice captain of altar boys, second only to Hugh, I don't recall ever having experienced anything resembling a religious experience. Five to twelve words into any sermon my brain ceased to collate or comprehend, and all my energy became focused on remaining awake in my exposed position where it would be embarrassing and possibly dangerous to collapse in sleep.

On the other hand this social encounter, unique in a week of work school and bus, was exhilaratingly packed with potential. All of Catholic West Nimbin Road or at least all of that from our northern neighbours, the Bolands, were here gathered for a social event that lasted well longer than the mass and sermon. All the peers were gathered here with their elders and idols to swap gossip, observe growth and show off new clothes with scant reference to the recent religious experience. Sunday papers, The Sun Herald and licentious Mirror were on hand with their commix to be lustfully devoured but best of all was the opportunity to practice flirting.

Compared to the hard week, this was a bacchanal and the most remarkable thing about it was that those who had taken communion, that is the majority, were sustained by no more than a cup of tea since midnight Saturday. This seemingly arbitrarily devised rule of penance, not unlike the no meat on Friday one, was the seed for a great deal of anguish. This was a small community where there were no strangers. As I already said most took communion so it was easy to note those who didn't. Amongst them you might find the excuse of an inappropriate Murphy's pie after the dance at the Riverira the night before or someone recovering from poor health who would be foolish to go without sustenance almost to midday. There was probably also the odd hard core recalcitrant sinner who declined as custom rather than exception and lived with the reputation.

How many then were there like me, not so much living in guilt as gambling the odds that I could get to confession before dying with this mortal sin and being condemned to eternal hell fire. Yes I broke my fast and more than once. It was too much for this growing lad to milk a hundred cows, feed a dozen calves, wash all that machinery and then present for altar duties, a performance event, possibly swinging smoky censers certainly staying alert to ring bells to wake others without sustenance.

Milo was my favourite, straight from the tin, a spoonful could turn to a mouthful in seconds behind a mothers back and who could notice that missing. Powdered milk was another favourite and as long as I didn't have to talk for the five minutes it took for saliva enough to make it swallow I'd be OK.

That's the thing about sin. If you never commit it you can go through life never imagining it. Once you do commit you start looking around and wondering.

Postscript:
Now after almost a year I have worked up the moral courage to present the next chapter in my memoirs at; http://rokstump.blogspot.com. Please go there and see if you can find anything remotely defensible in the adventures of this classic Aussie Male during mid sixties to early seventies.

Africa - here we come!

Hi everyone

Just a quick blog to let you know some exciting news. Mart and I have booked our journey home. We leave London on 3 December (before it gets any colder!) and arrive in Sydney on 9 February 2011 (what would've been Nana's 91st birthday).

And in between, we've booked an African adventure. Starting in Kenya, we spend 31 days travelling overland through Tanzania, Malawi, Zambia, Botswana and into Joburg. We'll be on a lake houseboat on Christmas day and spend New Year's Eve at Victoria Falls. So excited!!

We'll stay with my old flatmate Pinto in Joburg and then spend 3-4 weeks travelling around South Africa's beaches and coastline before staying with one of Mart's mates in Cape Town. It'll be the adventure of a lifetime!

Can't wait to see you all in 2011 for the Aussie wedding. Lots of love xx Kel

Sundy morning coming down

If you can hear your own laughter you're laughing too loud and probably drunk

When will I be able to open this left very watery eye, what can be happening with my coffee order, there's plenty of staff and only my clientele, why should it take so long? Oh god have I disgraced myself again? Did Anne poke her finger in this eye as I slept as punishment for my loud spoil of her and Dot's night out? Something about the way she flicked my scarf around my shoulders this morning intimated dispatch.

"Oh thanks", my coffee at last. Ahh! God, I'm still drunk and should expect the most outrageous hangover. It would be nice to think that wake up would be worst and a general return to health would follow but alas I think I think a great deal more down proceeds up. Oh well off to the station.

Why is it so bright? I'd kill for a hat or sunglasses and that wouldn't rate as paltry among the excuses for murder here. This is after all Kings Cross and must be the murder capital of Australia. I've never heard of death by brightness but I could be approaching it.

You'd think by this time I'd know better - but what qualifies you to think?

Sobriety would be a start. Still can't open this wretched eye and some here on this platform look as bright eyed and optimistic as a university recruitment program.

Ahh! Central, have to change. Please god, make it simple. Yes I know I don't believe in god but if he (must be a 'he' but if not will magnanimously understand my confusion with gender) were here now to grant this wish I would say any number of Our Fathers.

No, there is no god. The City Rail girl ignores my one eyed request for 'inner west line' and asks what station? Stanmore? Platform eight she says, that way and down and around she gestures. Had my brain been functioning, as a nonexistent god wanted, I would have realized that these low numbers were for country excursions Stanhope perhaps, or Braidmore, all the same this Pakistani lass, but no I went on her goose chase, probably benefiting from the exercise but not enjoying it one bit.

The one light spot in this travail came now in the form of the excellent public lavatories in the concourse of what I call Central's Central. You know the ones with the jet powered hand dryers that even I like to play with. The Fountain's coffee had by now done its job and I did mine. I studied my eyes in the mirror here to see what might be keeping the left shut but with only one eye to examine it and that through scratched glasses, I derived little satisfaction.

Back on line to Stanmore I reflected once more on the sunlight this day just as perhaps it reflected on me. It seemed that yesterdays winds had swept all natural impediments to its blaze away, leaving pure light and rapidly increasing heat in its wake. By early afternoon I was once more enabled of full sight that along with food and beer enabled me to fully recognize the transgressions of last night, the shame for which I still bear remnant scrapes and rashes.

Wedding Breaths

Dear Kell and Martin,
Sorry I was late for the wedding but just as the dog ate my homework thieves stole an hour from me last night to give to sport. "Truly Miss, arr Mrs. it was the only way they could fit a repeat AFL grand final in with the already scheduled NRL grand final and still have time for the opening of the Indian commonwealth games without having to postpone the cricket". On top of that the sand man appears to have given you an extra hour as a wedding present. Why they have to be so sneaky about it I don't know and I don't blame you as I'm sure you don't either. Wedding presents, well any presents, are a wonderful thing but all this sport. Do we really need it? Someone should give sport a parallel universe where they could play around to their hearts content and keep out of the way of folk with important weddings and stuff.
Meanwhile I have seen some of the unofficial photos on Face book including the English traditional 'goosing of the bride', lovely. I am most grateful to chris for his photos of the Royal Albert, but am a bit concerned about the fortunes of The Market Porter who are probably still suffering a decline in sales since that misanthropic Aussie, looking a lot like he'd just got a job at bunnings, frightened off most of their trade. What's the matter with him. Oh sure, I know a lot of those from down under might take exception to sharing their drink with a lot of flowers but he's a gardener for god's sake.
Now having witnessed Kelly and Marts first brilliant dance and Kell's hens night videos, the one so extraordinarily live and the other ,well; not, I'm so flabbergasted, yes flabbergasted (a word I've always sought a use for) that now I can't wait for the official results. Bring it on. Aussie Aussie Oi Oi um, er, no, forgive me, I think I just fell into a parallel universe, a few deep breaths, Ah! I'll be alright now.
Congratulations to both of you, Mart and Kell; Hip Hip Hooray - Hip Hip Hooray, and Mart. if you find yourself growing out of that suit lets bypass the Vinnie's middle man. Yes yes I know it wouldn't fit me but with a good diet and a wasting disease anything's possible.
Robert
PS. Did any of you see that first Chilean shoot out of the hole doing that brilliant Stevie Wonder impersonation, even better than Jacks?

For Robert

As requested her is the Royal Albert Hall and I thought I would include the Albert Memorial as it is opposite anyway. Also SOK does not get on the blog much and this is his usual type of whereabouts on most London afternoons.

Royal Wedding

Well the wedding of Princess Kelly to the Earl of Streatham is done and dusted and what an event it was. A great night was had by all and I would like to thank all the Aussies who came to celebrate with Kelly. We really appreciated it and the Tidman's were impressed by us all, so well done. I have included my speech for those who are interested as well some photos taken during on the night. Lots more on facebook but can't wait for the professional's.





Good evening, Sue and I would like to welcome you tonight to this great event, Kelly & Mart’s wedding. I am privileged to be the first speaker tonight and I am sure others will also welcome you, but I take this opportunity to thank you all for coming, especially the Aussie contingent, Melissa and Bill from the US and of course Nicole and Kim.
Four and a half years ago Sue and I sat on the shore of Botany Bay and waved a teary goodbye to the flying kangaroo taking Kelly, along with Kim and Nicole, on their long planned adventure.
As Kelly had always been with us, up until that time, apart from a couple of Bali holidays, we had some apprehension about what the future would hold for her. How would she cope without us?
But Kelly’s regular calls and weekly emails put our minds at rest that all was going well and Sue and I were commencing our caravan travels at the same time, so this was to keep us occupied.
Less than a year later we were on our way to London to confirm for ourselves and we were so pleased to find our daughter successfully employed, making lots of great friends through house sharing and work and finding her way around London with her trusty A to Z.
We met a lot of these friends and colleagues, many of you are here tonight, and you really made us welcome and we were pleased to see the support and affection you showed for Kelly.
We were fortunate to coincide our visit to London, with the EY Red Nose fund raising event, meeting many of Kelly’s EY friends and enjoying a karaoke performance not to forget.
We have always been very proud of Kelly and we left London feeling very relaxed, that Kelly was in control, had great friends and was coping fine without us and she would be home in a little over twelve months, or so we thought.
But then things started to change,
Firstly, EY agreed to sponsor Kelly to stay on with them, and a five year working visa was arranged. Of course Sue and I were wholly in support of this as a great opportunity for Kelly, even though we would continue to miss her.
Secondly, and more concerning, was the call from Kelly to let us know she had met a boy……… in a pub called the “Cock” ……..and he was pretty spunky.
Over the following months we heard more and more about Mart and realised a serious relationship was developing. We saw lots of face book photos of them together and the weekly email reports described their adventures. Sue and I were happy that Kelly was happy and Mart was obviously besotted by her charms.
Kelly and Mart share a common interest in each others activities including travel, music, working, partying, football and mountain hiking, maybe Kelly is not that keen on the last two.
Christmas 2008 was an exciting period for us as Mart and Kelly were coming to visit, for Mart to meet Sue and I and many of Kelly’s family and friends. I don’t know how apprehensive Mart was about this trip but he did not show it and he won us all over with ease.
We shared an apartment at Coogee with them for a week and it was at this time that Sue and I observed the great relationship Kelly and Mart had, and it was obvious that they were in love. After a couple of weeks in Aus they headed back to London, leaving Sue and I feeling again very comfortable about the future.

It was only a few weeks later that Mart called us to ask for Kelly’s hand, but Kelly made him do it again a few days later, sober. Of course we were very happy to say yes to Mart and were pleased to be asked, in these modern times.

Last Christmas it was our turn to come to London to spend time with Kelly and Mart and of course to meet Ros and Peter and Chris & Nick and many of Mart’s friends. Again Sue and I could not have been made feel more welcome than we were by their friends at the “East Hill” pub in Wandsworth, by Jon and Mary at their flat, and by the fantastic hospitality shown by Ros and Peter in sharing their home and family with us for our first ever winter Christmas. London even put on snow for us in the days before Christmas much to the frustration of many Christmas travellers but we thought it was great.
Thanks again for your welcome.
Well that brings us to tonight, at this wonderful venue and this gathering of family and friends for this celebration. It has been an eventful four and a half years for Sue and I, and Kelly and Mart.
Sue and I do not have a son, until now, and we could not be happier than to have Mart fill that role, especially when my car needs washing. We welcome him to the family and even the Australian Immigration authorities have agreed to let him into the country. We look forward to Kelly and Mart’s arrival in Sydney next year, as much as Ros, & Peter, and family and Mart’s friends will be sad to see this happen. I know that Kelly too, will miss the friends she has made in London, her work colleagues, the exciting London lifestyle and everything except the winter.
I now see Kelly and Mart as very much citizens of the world, a much smaller world than in the past. I think Kelly and Mart are keen and ready to take on the opportunities and challenges ahead, and we wish them every success in the future in whatever they do.
I would also like to extend an invitation to all of you to come visit Sue & I and Kelly & Mart in Australia, we have three spare guest rooms in our home in Goulburn and you are all welcome. Meanwhile, in the next few hours, we would like to meet every one of you and share a drink and a yarn.
Kelly & Mart…… Sue and I love you both very much and I would like everyone to now join us in a toast to you ……….
cheers Kelly & Mart.