Okeefereport: Snips and Snaps

Musings on Boron, Cryptosporidium, Water, affordable terraces and Hooligans

What the hell happened to Boron. There was a time when no washing powder or associated cleansing product could be real if it did not proudly claim this stuff as a major ingredient. Now what, have we recklessly exhausted the world’s entire stocks of Boron or has it like oil become outrageously expensive and abandoned in favour of synthetics? No that can’t be right, synthetics, based as they are on oil, are now too expensive. Probably there’s a GM version that I’m not yet aware of, a virus that cleans all in its path. Whatever it is I can’t wait to hear it named.

Remember cryptosporidium, wasn’t that gold in a test tube. Changed every Australians drinking habits forever, no more tap water for me boyo, unless it has been bottled and marked up a few thou percent. Clever wasn’t it? Who would want to go up against a bug that sounded like it would give even Superman a serious hangover. Of course now the bottles have turned into a bio-hazard threatening life as we know it but hell no one ever said that commerce would be risk free, remember cryptosporidium?

It’s tempting to have Coca Cola and the other marketers pay a refund for returned bottles, not five cents like in SA but fifty percent of purchase price. After all the water is almost free and we all know that it’s the bottle label and marketing that costs, not to mention all those fat cat executive and lawyer fees. Oh yes water is a scarce resource and forever rising in price, but its no equal for plastic and fat cat salaries. Did you know that some brave councils have still got it on tap, or bubblers as they used to be called, in public parks? You fat cats should worry whenever I and my derro mates can drink for free and just as sweetly as you and your family who must pay through the nose. Doesn’t sound fair? Write to your member.

One of the affordable ‘aspects’ of the terrace house is that you never have to paint or decorate the sides. The two aspects you do have are the smallest and the back one is rarely seen by other than close friends and relatives. Of course the plumber or Jaime Dury and his back yard blitzers might get a look but who cares. Only that small front yard and facade needs to keep up with the Jones and these days it’s more likely to be the Al Fiards or the Popandopolosis’s so if you just keep it cleared of garbage your probably a model of citizenship.

Hooligan was one of my father’s favourite slanders and he used the term long before it became the popular description for over zealous football fans. His hooligan I fancy was not as loutish or uncivilised as this modern representation has become. I don’t know where this is leading and I think I only brought it up because something about the word appeals to me and I’m feeling nostalgic for my father’s interpretation over the modern media’s.

Well well, speak of the devil as they say. At my mention of cryptosporidium it returns in nineteen pools throughout the metropolitan area where people who are reporting with cryptosporidiosis have recently swum. Can’t wait to see how much it will cost to replace their water with Crystal Spring from the bottle. Must ask my proctologist if he has considered this possibility though it’s a long time since I swam.

On that front I have this week been examined both manually and by state of the art camera and can report that I have nothing remotely life threatening going on up there. Some small ulcers were found that did not excite the proctologist who took samples for biopsy and cut me loose to a Gastroenterologist who has agreed to see me late in April. Meanwhile I will just have to bear up without an exciting name for my condition.

With nothing much more important to relate I bid you, as we all shall soon bid Sol Trujillo, adios.

R

Here for you now: THE WEEK IN SNAPS

I'm wittnessing a lot more of this on my path these days and it troubles me.