Hens Night <(:)>

Phew the crisis is over, and I hear your sigh of relief. Thank Confucius for the steady tread of Dot who came with a level head to save my/our bacon. (Hmm we’d better eat that sentence today; it’s just this side of off) There’s no question that secret Santa’s big but it’s not the only big stuff going on now and busy folk like you and I could do without the distraction. It’s a comfort to know that everyone now knows their responsibilities.

On the subject of stuff, it’s my pleasure here to be able to report on Alice’s Hen’s night last Saturday eve. Yes I was one of the chicks as were a number of others sprouting more facial hair than I care to see on a chick and not one of us had to remove our clothes or perform acts with whipped cream. Not withstanding it was a great party, generously hosted by Kara, ably assisted, not, by Yasmin, Africa and their boyfriends with the sort of incomprehensibly modern names you’d expect from Fort Street. Alice’s blood grandmother Sally was in attendance with Jane (her blood daughter) as were many of Alice’s impressive school and work friends. I had a great time as was evidenced by the time, 2:30AM when Catt, bless her soul, bundled Alice and I into a cab and saw both of us home before retiring herself.

If that had not been enough evidence to convince your lordships of the caliber of this event, then the condition of your correspondent the next day should leave no further doubt in your mind. I do notice that recovery time is becoming a more drawn out affair as years go by and I may be one of the few who commiserate with the plight of our esteemed leader Howard who must be ever so careful with the timing of his raging. What’s that? Yes I take your point that is probably the least commiserable of the PM’s current problems and maybe soon he will have all the time he wants to get off his face.
The way things are going the Okeefe’s family personal voting block may have the balance of power in the knifes edge Bennelong electorate. That’s something to ponder as you have your head down in the booth, Catt, Matt, Chris. Be sure to make a note in your diary to consult when your boring your grandchildren with the story of how you voted out (or saved) the incumbent PM.

Holidays are pleasant and I seem to be making good progress with my list, lets see, still have to polish shoes and godamit shopping’s come round again. Speaking of shopping I’ve spent so much time in the mall these last few weeks I shouldn’t be at all surprised to find myself in the gossip column alongside Paris Hilton. With two trips to Bondi Junction for Alice under my belt I could hardly refuse Jack in his hour of need for a shirt, shoes and belt. He came away with a two pair of jeans bonus, a much more profitable (should that be expensive?) trip than either of Alice’s. Just as I thought that it was all over for another decade I found myself at Broardway with Alice Saturday arvo shopping for party food and dress and loosing the car. Yes Dot my memory and its scribe let me down again as we pushed a fully loaded trolley up five floors when we should have gone down one.

It was good exercise anyway which reminds me of the pedometer I received along with my Black and Decker Dust Buster reward courtesy of those credit card reward points. What more evidence do we need that “Australian families have never been so well off” than the afore mentioned pedometer reward for rewarding oneself with a Dust Buster reward. I suggest Black and Decker like other big corporations feeling a bit sensitive about their image might have noticed the recent publicity about the so called obesity crisis and made the link to their labour saving devices as a potential cause. Public relations put their heads together with sales and marketing and come up with the inclusion of the exercise encouraging pedometer. Dubito ergo sum. I’m looking forward to bar bells with clothes dryers and Gym membership with self cleaning ovens, wadd’ya think.

Of course I don’t leave home without it, particularly on my morning walk which without the distraction of work I now take every day or at least every day that I don’t wake up dead as I did last Sunday. I feel that this walk provides some balance for the extra drinking time I find at the end of each day and with my step adjusted to 85cm. my walk usually pans out at about 3800 steps or 3.2 kilometers. It works by counting my steps and has inspired me to start work on the drinkometer which could count a certain elbow movement required to bring glass to mouth. Greater sophistication has to be developed though not just regarding potency of alcohol which could be easily dialed up but with volume of sip/gulp which I hope to achieve without resorting to implants.

To finance my experiments while I wait for the Jims Brazilians cash cow to mature I’m thinking of taking advantage of the new licensing laws for alcoholic beverages to open a shopfront bar here in Enmore. There is a vacant shop at the corner of London and Enmore about thirty meters from The Queen’s, thirty five from The Sly Fox and less than a hundred meters from both The Warren View and The Duke of Edinburg so I’m certain that there are a lot of drinkers in a close proximity. What about it, anyone want a piece of this action?

Well that’s about all from me for now. Ohhh don’t be like that I’ll be back. Kell you make the most of it, you won’t always be able to drink twice your body weight in a night. Hugh, where’s that promised novel. Matt your too young to start forgetting Secret Santas
See you all at Alice and jack’s first family day on Saturday, well most of you all anyway, what time do you want us to call Kell.

Here are a few snaps from the “Hens”


Some of the chicks and no whiped cream


Sofi and Zoe


Close family: Alice with Renee and Jade


Sally and Jane


Africa Asia and Australia