Too Much Pressure

Children in suitcases floating in ponds, talking heads throwing themselves from cliffs, murderous assault for watering the lawn, escalating attacks on parking rangers, sexual assault claims in defense of pinkie wiggling roused, bottle throwing road rage, and still nineteen days to go in this pressure cooker election campaign. The AJC / Pell face off appears beyond resolution. Normally in crisis times like these we can turn the church for some solace or if that’s not working go to the races. Not now though with equine influenza and a church so distracted by quarrels over accommodations for a papal visit, we need a pressure valve. In days of yore the generals would have organised a duel to death between ours and our opponent’s champions, to appease the blood lust of the troops, while the kings finished their long luncheon negotiations over division of spoils. Perhaps a game of rugby could be arranged between the government and opposition with pick up teams from amongst the candidates. This would have the additional advantage here in NSW, of providing an opportunity to gamble with our recently enlarged gaming facilities. NSW gamblers have had it tough since their horses got the flu. I’d like to be a psychiatrist on the wall at some of these assault hearings. I’m prepared to bet (did I say that) that many of the protagonists were gamblers.

Barnaby Joyce is my choice for captain of the coalition side, but maybe not everyone’s. Tony Abbott needs to sweat off some aggression but I don’t think he’s up to captaincy. That Mal Brough looks like he could run a few lengths of the paddock wadd’ya think. I’m not as sure about a Labor side, Kev I can’t imagine being of much use but with 70% union bullies on the front bench surely they can field a team. Anyway the draw should be open to all candidates, Greens, Family first, what about you Pauline, you’re a fit looking heifer, wouldn’t you like the opportunity to get Mal in a tackle grapple? The object is to relieve pressure of course, the public needs biff and blood spill, if picking teams is going to lead to more vitriol and pressure then perhaps the idea doesn’t float. What about a cricket match? Give Johnnie one last chance to dust off the flannels, I’ve seen him bowl a pretty wobbly er, wobbly. No, your right, not enough blood and too great a likelihood of the dreaded draw.

Thanks to all who for your birthday wishes, the taco was delicious, thanks Kell. The nomads sent me a delightful poke I think, no, they wrote on my wall. We get a lot of that around here. Mays Lane in St Peters has become a public gallery for wall artists from which organized tours have been led too other important sights these last few weeks.




The Bogongs have all gone and these fellows have come to clean up. I note that scientists for the intelligence agencies are experimenting with ways of implanting things like these with receivers for the purpose of spying. What do you think all those eye like patches could be. Hmmm hand me that microscope.

Later, Prof Robert