The best Dad in the world...

That's you - Chris! Ok, I'm biased but have a Happy Father's Day! Enjoy your present when you get it and soak up some sunshine and have a pint (or more like we did in this photo!) on Sunday in NT - I know you will be anyway! Thanks for all your love and words of wisdom - you're the best!

Love xx Kel (the best daughter in the world - cause you're biased too!)

Andrew Johns

Well, I was going to make an equally silly comment about Kelly and the Notting Hill Festival... but it seems most of the family beat me to the punch.

We were there in the audience last night at the Footy Show for the Andrew Johns interview. I got tickets for Chris to the Footy Show as part of his 21st present. It was such a strange atmosphere at the show. The interview was so incredibly sad. You felt like going down and giving him (and the rest of the Footy Show guys) a hug. Andrew got so choked up and in the ad breaks he was so upset, particularly during the ad break when everyone in the audience (completely shocked by what they heard) started whispering to each other. But I think the saddest thing was his brother Matty John who was sitting there watching the interview. He actually started crying and had to leave the set at one stage.

Then the interview ended and it was meant to be all happy and light again, but the audience was down and Matty Johns was down... None of them stayed around during the ad breaks or after the show to talk to the audience which apparently they usually do. :(

Oh well, I wonder if it all would have gone away if he'd just said he had it. It was one time. He wasn't playing. Whoops!

Stay clean kids!

Cat

Last weekend of summer

Hi guys

Had a wild weekend to bring in the last days of summer in London! Here's me and Frogs at Get Loaded in the Park, a music festival where we danced our arses off to 2 many djs! And here's me and Melissa at the Notting Hill Carnival. Had a blast!

Miss you xxx Kel

In the loop

Notes on the news

Boy that George Pell and his mate God didn’t muck around when those horse racing Pharos started quibbling about access to Randwick Racecourse for the children of Rome did they?
Selective plague as a first shot is pretty hard bargaining and should prove very effective especially when everyone knows of the potential to back it up with the death overnight of every first-born colt.
This has the potential to decimate the 7.2 billion racing industry so we will be looking forward to other industries to take up the slack. Randwick is likely to become a very available and affordable venue so all you promoters who keep raising those septuagenarian acts from the grave for the entertainment of the cashed-up baby boomers should take note.
I know Randwick was never the best, what with its susceptibility to adverse weather conditions, etc, but there’s good value to be derived from taping the emotional space occupied by Randwick in the hearts of these old farts.
I know the potential for electrocution on wet stages or lightning strikes always added to the excitement for me.

Sports

Wow! Does botox count as a drug in sport? My favorite SBS TV program tonight has been replaced with an athletic beauty contest or a beautiful athletic contest I d’no. There’s hot girls with make up and doos, black and white, blonde and brunette running around a track throwin’ spears, all of them from Toyota, to see who is the most beautiful, Miss athlete 2007 that’ll bring them in. If they can just incorporate breast implants they’ll kill the ratings. Woo now there’s some hunkin lads for the girls and gays, this program may take off. Gives the old saying “fast girls” an entirely new meaning.

Family day 19-08-07

The brave skipper at the bridge of our ferry from Palm Beach to Ettalong
Well it must be up to me to report on the most recent family day, so here you are: my snaps from Jaime and Luke’s 07 family day on the nineteenth of august when The Ettalong Beach Hotel provided a welcome retreat on an extremely bleak day.

The setting on a bleak day

Chris is back

Overview of ambience.

Mat and Chris are a bit suspicious of my photography though Cat of course demonstrates the essence of nonchalance.

Best shot of Jamie, this girl knows how to duck and weave

Johns new monk look


Here for you who care is a shot of Alice and Jacks place in late winter mode. Pretty!

China warning II

Whilst I dwell in this warning mode I should update a few China warnings. It was comforting to read that a year out they have started to breed pigs without resorting to antibiotics or growth hormones so that athletes can sample the delights of suckling pig and crackling without compromising their next drug test. Of course it will no doubt be difficult for competitors and other health minded participants to know if the pig their eating is drug free once cooking has removed the pink stamps on flesh that identify it as having been properly tested and certified. Perhaps they can perfect a fluorescent cooking proof ink or even better a radioactive dye over which waiters could pass a Geiger counter as proof. In the mean time I would be sticking to the leaner versions of these delights even though lean suckling pig could look like a contradiction in terms.

Building practices in China are still in the developmental stages as is evidenced by the recent collapse of a chocolate block design bridge. This perfectly valid design experiment which economically does away with expensive steel should have gone through more extensive testing using rats – yes I’m well of the “you have to feed rats” argument – before releasing it into the public sphere. If you’re visiting China for the Olympics or any other reason I recommend great caution when entering any structure over two stories tall especially stadiums designed to simulate birds nests, do not cross bridges unless ample quantities of steel are prominently displayed and don’t even get me started on the risks entailed in attempting to wade or swim across toxic bloomi’n, flash floodi’n waterways.

If you or your loved ones, like me, are prone to gnaw on bead heads, chair backs and the like, when decamped in foreign hostelries, be sure to ask your host to show you his most recent lead base paint inspection report. It’s also advisable to check that blankets are not branded Sheridan though of course this is not conclusive and as of my last reading scientists are still working on a pocket Sheridan-like blanket detector which can be transported easily under recent airline security procedures.

Air pollution, not usually one of my a-list beefs, appears to have hit home in Beging. Banning every second car from the roads is their most recent attempt to deal with this but shutting down “Made in China P/L” has not yet been considered thank Confucius: we need those plasma screens today. Concerns about this problem were raised when someone identified the problem people were having being able to see one hundred meters ahead and the impact that this could have on track and field events. Swimmers are contained in a pool but out there on the track there’s no knowing what could happen. Ughh! Where did that javelin come from.

In light of these and previously mentioned warnings I’m not at all surprised to note that many of the more ambitious nations are shuttling their athletes accompanied by their own food, blankets and bead heads, in and out for events only. This sounds sensible if you can afford it but it does raise other problems such as jet lag. In the past athletes always had to acclimatize now they will have to jet lagise. Enterprising aviators - see Sir Richard Branson – have proposed converting some of these new “very big planes” into flying gym/accommodations with a grantee to be lead paint and Sheridan blanket free. A year out we can only wonder what’s next.

I'm probably over reacting

I don’t wish to sound too alarmist but did any of you read that report in this weeks papers about the cockey (the human kind) who was caught up a tree in some swamp surrounded by crocodiles writing a farewell message to his son on the lid of his tobacco tin. Every night two of them would stalk him and all he could see was two sets of red eyes while the big bull roared in the distance. During the day helicopters flew by close enough to pass a football to but the p….t (what can this word be) didn’t see him till the fifth day.
Now I’m probably being paranoid but after reading this and coming home to read, in the latest blog entries: that my own family were venturing into similar territory, I felt a chill through my spine. I have to admit that the story sounds a lot more like a trailer from Crocodile Dundee III or an outtake from Wolf Creek, Razorback or some other outback horror flick, and I did read it in the Telegraph so who knows what this desperate drug addled journo downloaded from the net to meet his deadline. Isn’t that just the point, those vast unoccupied expanses where you have to wait a week for tires from Adeliade, home of the Snowtown Murders, and long weekends go for three days are just riddled with feral pigs, crocks and Murdocks. Just look at the photo of Steven next to his very authentic rig. Where’s his face, just a hat and shadow, the very grist of gothic horror. Did he show you his guns? No, even worse, he’s hiding them. I warn you Sue, you cant trust any of them. Rob and Jo from SA, If that means South Australia then I say Stay Away.
R

Strictly for Sue

Hi all. As usual, great to catch up with our ever wandering tribe - in the Philosopher's case, sometimes mentally. Will get back to some personal HOK history soon, but wanted to rush into print to wish Sue a happy Elvis day tomorrow - thirty years and he still hasn't left the building. Hope this makes up for missing your birthday (and yes, I know, you too, Alice.

Hugs from Huggy

It's 36 degrees today.

Hi all,

Kelly tells me I have to punctuate more, but I was away from school that day we learnt how to do that. We are still at Berry Springs enjoying ourselves, meeting all new people, lots of happy hours. We said goodbye to our new friends Lil and Ian but have kept in contact with them by phone already, Rob and Jo have moved on also but insist when we are in SA we have to look them up, on their last night they had a baked dinner and asked us to join them, it was beautiful. Before Lil left we had a day at Casuarina shopping, it was so much fun, we left at 9am and got back at 5pm. Over the last 2 weeks we have met Tom, Sharon, Pete and Jane they also have dogs Jinnie and Fred both Jack Russells and Olly loves playing with them, we are actually dog sitting Fred today. Jinnie taught Olly how to fetch balls, a game he couldn’t quite get with us. Poor Olly has been in the vet this week, he had an upset belly and was on antibiotics for 1 week and all cured now, then it was dog dental month, something we should have had done in Sydney, so we thought Olly needs this done so booked him in and he had 4 bottom teeth taken out as well as a polish and clean, don’t worry Kel he still looks beautiful.

Well what have we been doing, we went to the Litchfield rodeo always a great night, lots of cowboys drunk and sober, huge massive bulls that they want to ride, crazy people, only 1 needed ambulance attention. We sold the generator for what we paid for it, we actually could have sold it 3 times, so that’s good. SOK arrived and set up camp next to us, he was here for 2 weeks and moved yesterday closer to Darwin so he can look for work.

The caravan park put on happy hour as the Darwin Cup was on and we went into a sweep and Chris got first so that turned into a real happy hour. We have had 2 flat tyres in a week, 1 was a slow leak a nail in it, we discovered it on Friday arvo and took it to the tyre place at Humpty Doo, only to find out, they were closed and it was a long weekend on the Monday so couldn’t get it fixed until Tuesday, that was ok, it just meant we couldn’t drive far, not without a spare. So on Wednesday we thought we would leave Olly with SOK and drive to Litchfield, but 10 minutes into our drive along a dirt road we heard pop so stopped the car and I said to Chris what is that hissing sound sure enough we had another flat, a big chunk of tyre missing, so we weren’t game to go any further without a spare, so back into Humpty Doo to find out they don’t stock this popular brand, we had to go into Darwin, so off we go only to find out that it will take 1 week to get it from Adelaide, so we haven’t had much luck with tyres.

Because of the tyres we haven’t been driving far, thankfully the caravan park has a pool with a waterslide, so Chris and I had great fun on it, it’s a straight one not a bendy one but it does have a dip in it, so when you go down sitting, your bum leaves the slide and you have no idea where your going to land, there was even one time I beat my mat down and had to ask a little kid to run up the slide to get it for me, it was so much fun.

Sok taught me how to do Suduko so I’ve been having a good time trying to finish these, sometime it takes me 10 minutes, sometimes hours and other times I just give up and throw it out in frustration. My birthday was a great day, we relaxed most of the day and word got out it was my birthday so when we went out for dinner at the restaurant in the caravan park our neighbors sang happy birthday, it was really nice, but when we got to the restaurant they had balloons and a birthday card at the table, it was lovely and thanks for everyone who rang also.

SOK left his bike here and asked if Chris could ride it into his new abode, so you didn’t have to ask him twice. I followed him in the car. We try and swim everyday, either in the pool here or go to Berry Springs everyday its 30 to 34 degrees but cools down nicely at night time. They burn off a lot here, so last night was really spectacular at about 8pm we looked out the back window to find the sky bright orange but out the front window was pitch black everyone was saying that it is control burning but it was huge so when the flames calmed down Chris and I went for a walk and you could hear all the crackling but it looked spectacular shining onto the lake, but all we smelt last night was fire and also this morning smells a bit. We got our tyre fitted on yesterday so we have a spare, we will go and do some more sightseeing.

We plan to be here until the end of August and then we are off again.

Love to all

Sue and Chris and Olly xxx


Me and my new car!!!




SOKs "home" and worldy possessions.



Chris leaving the slide.




Me on waterslide




Olly and a new friend a Bernese Mountain Dog (Swiss)






Chris & I at my birthday dinner.

Ascot baby!

Hi everyone

Went to Ascot Racecourse on Saturday - it was great! Caught the train through the countryside and spent the day drinking champagne in the very posh grounds of the racecourse! Even won a few ££! Aussie jockey Darren Beadman was making his European racing debut too so there were lots of Aussies and he got a few places on the day - go Aussie!

Here's some pics for those who haven't seen them already on Facebook.

Love ya xx

Meditations on mowing

Whilst reviewing recently published photos I noticed this shot obviously requiring further explanation which you were too shy and polite to ask for
You’ve probably noticed that it bears a resemblance to one of those pre-Victa without-a-motor mowers. Your right of course, in a previous incarnation that’s exactly what it was though by now it was missing a vital component that being the linkage to its human power source also known as the handle. If memory serves me well this was because in those days of innovation and invention when a man needed little more than a hammer and the will to be an inventor this once mower was undergoing metamorphosis into a bailing machine and was here undergoing trials. It was intended to be powered by trained fish though as I recall the fish trainer from Usbekistan had been held up by immigration and missed this golden opportunity. When the water receded there seemed to be little necessity for a bailing machine anymore and thus lacking its mother, poor thing, this invention stalemated. The fish trainer when he arrived was disappointed but found employment in the banana plantations, married a Sikh, and moved to Coffs Harbor. The mower/ bailer badly rusted by its experience found itself relegated to the no longer needed department beside the shed along with assorted drays horse drawn ploughs and other farm detritus, providing defenses for weeds and long grasses where snakes could relax without fearing being trod on. The mower was replaced thankfully by a motorized version though not by a Victa as one might suspect but by a Pope which must have been discounted to Catholics as some sort of reward for faith? I remember long days of labor behind this temperamental brute in the house garden on the farm where I’m sure my mother moved the fences ever outward. I’m sure that somewhere there is photographic evidence of this though I can’t find it. I apologise if I swore and blasphemed using your name Pope you certainly provided good service in both Goolmangar and Sydney where you became an early source of pocket money. It’s just that on hot summer weekends when lawns are at their lushest and overheated engines behave very badly it seems only right that we vent our frustrations at not being great inventors with a few not well chosen words.
This prickle patch was destined to become part of the Pope's domain.

It's a Gambol

What about those two Chinese security guards who knocked off the bank vault they were protecting for the equivalent of $7.8 US millions and lost most of it on the lottery. Talk about gambling addiction, is it possible to even imagine what they might have won. Naturally their also loosing their lives, property crime is serious stuff in their part of town.

I was intrigued to read in the Telegraph motoring supplement on Friday, an article, no make that promotional piece, lauding the new right hand drive Hummer coming on to the Aussie market, as derivative of the Humvee famous for its troop carriage in the Iraqi war. This cast an interesting contrast to an item in the Herald on the same day indicating that US forces in Iraq were becoming impatient with delays in delivery of larger MRAP* vehicles with V shaped armored undercarriage to replace the sexy frog bellied Humvee which provided little protection against Iranian designed land mines, and had been all but abandoned by US troops. This presents the conundrum. Should I cancel my order for the new metallic orange hummer which now revealed as having a too soft underbelly will fade from public perception and Arnold Schwarzenegger’s garage as the #1 macho brut accoutrement for this or any other SNAG (I’d thought it could provide a sensitive balance of ying yang) to become little more than transport for third world livestock. Would such a cancellation send the right message, one of disgust with soft underbellies, to Hummer’s people or would it merely damage the bold US economy and thus delay even more the delivery of the MRAPs to Iraq, and risk even more casualties amongst those boys from the home of the brave. If the Heralds artist is to be trusted there would be no advantage, economic or social, in switching the order to the MRAP which looks like a close relative of those WW2 Toyota trucks which served as inspiration for early Land cruiser models. Little likelihood of finding one of them in Arnie’s garage in the near future, not at least until he finds himself fighting the real fight as anarchy sweeps the states and California stands as the last place on earth where a cool drink is to be found.
Whew the tempo of these Saturday nights just carry you away don’t they.
*Mine Resistant Ambush vehicle Program

It’s not well known but Jumping Jack Flash is buried here in London Street Enmore

Jack was a young wag in London during the swinging sixties who’s exploits, not unlike those of our very own Kelly, were immortalised in song by the Rolling Stones. Perhaps, Kell, if you come up with the right lick like “mega buff fab” and I’m sure you could, Silverchair or Hillsong or someone will immortalise you. Wadd’ya think

Happy birthday Mum!

Dear Mum

Hope you have a great birthday on Sunday in sunny NT. I wish I could be there to celebrate but I know Dad and Olly will spoil you rotten - you deserve it! Don't forget to go to Darwin and pick up your present.

Lots and lots and lots of love xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Kel

As Requested

In receipt of correspondence from people in far away places (it’s a shame that blogs come un-postmarked, I suspect by now they’ve become involved in the Howard invasion of remote settlements without very good wireless broardband) and never one to refuse a reasonable request, please find the following.1. My first published work which I shall let you puzzle over until you beg for an explanation
2. Gails pathetic attempt to steal my thunder
3. My two greatest treasures

Harumph

You who do not habitually (some would say addictively) read The Herald it is your misfortune to have missed the excitement that commenced on Thursday July26 when I had a letter published. Yes my very first publication and yes in the comic relief last column (where else). Pretty exciting stuff Eh! So what a surprise to pick up the paper the very next day and discover there on the front cover a photo of Gail (you remember Gail) in the back yard at Putney, wearing the same shirt and surrounded by undergrowth that looked like I was the last person to mow it.
There she was in one of those journalists staged set ups, representing the human face of traditional suburbia being crushed by the crowding phenomena that is kissing off the quarter acre block. Well she had a very bad habit of upstaging me (or was it the other way around) whatever. I certainly didn’t appreciate this gross intrusion upon my day of glory and would tell her so if I could without the risk of ever seeing her again.
The irony of course is that whilst the reporter was placing anti development words in her ready to be used mouth, if developers were flies she would be leaving honey pots all over. Harumph!

My new house

Hi everyone

I've moved into my new place and it's GREAT! Very close to the docks and parks in Canada Water - plus we've got a backyard complete with swimming pool and BBQ - perfect for the weekend just past which was the hottest in London this year at 30 degrees!

Here's a photo of my new flatmates in the pool and the local area. Life's tough!

Love Kel xx

Back to Black and white

I’m a little worried about Kelly’s seeming ignorance of my recent email warnings so I’ve decided to take it to the public forum of the blog in the hope that collectively we can protect her. I warned her about rising water levels and accommodations on Thames beachfront but I’m not sure that she even heard me, now with this outbreak of foot n’ mouth disease I’m terrified for her. Kell I can’t emphasize enough what the dire consequences of foot n’ mouth could be to a National Internal Communications Executive Ernst & Young LLP. Believe me I suffered from this affliction as a young man, or boy really, and have suffered many relapses. By the way what does LLP stand for at the end of your title? Is it some sort of provisional law degree?

Now as requested by one of our readers here are some good old black and whites. Please bear with me if this seems a little strange as it is very strange to write and publish in reverse without seeing what your producing until it’s published

Sometimes when it rained we had waterfront on our farm. In fact we had water back and sides as well. During this flood we saw many strange things out for a swim not the least of them being the piano from the Coffee Camp school. When the water subsided it left this piano in the top of a tree. It left livestock, no make that deadstock, pigs mostly, in power lines and left our farm littered with marrows and film canisters as I recall.

Due east and there'll be no lawnmowing today. Check the well watered roses.
North East towards Dickies, the crossing, not. Many strange things floated past here
Due North, The caption reads "from the roof of the bails towards Santo's" directly into the oncoming stream
Nor-Nor-West just west of the of the oncoming stream.
West,back water; calm but very deep.
South: You could walk out, or in as some did, this way. Note the tops of fence posts still visible
Now this is the type of waterfront you wouldn't mind. Imagine what it looks like now wherever it is
These two tiny snaps that must almost pre date me judging by a Nanette child I don’t remember are fascinating don’t you think? It must be Hugh but I can’t recognize him. Am I right?

Nona and Nanette but who’s the oh so louche guy with the pose so ahead of his time?
Absolutely Nanette, certainly Grandfather but who are these others? OK could be me who can tell with babies but is this Hugh? I’ve a good mind to take it to police forensic to get that fingerprint on Nanette identified.
Chris, if you and Sue stumble onto this place, ask them how much.

John identified Aunty Addie from a previously published photo that I call the jolly folk. I have fond recollections of a holiday at her place in Brisbane at a place called Seven Ways, you get the picture. In case that wasn’t exciting enough for a country boy there was a railway level crossing and a Gogomobile dealership. No need to go out at night, just close my eyes and listen to it all come in. I have no idea how or if Addie is my auntie but I loved her then and these photos only re-enforce that love

Bob Albury junior, wife and baby and my self writes Addie here.
Eileen Margaret and I at Margarets graduation in 1962 writes Addie
"This is mum when we lived at Greenslopes" writes Addie on the back of this on the ninth of November nineteen fourty six (XXX)
Yes that's a lot of bull

These formal folk are a mystery to me so I would welcome any input as to their identities. Guesses will be fine and failing all else I’m thinking of a prise for the best made up story.

This very smooth dude was photographed by W.J. Hannah of Murwillumbah.
I hope it was air conditioned in this photo studio.
He's in the military though this is all that is obvious, going, coming who knows.
He's an officer and a seaman and he explains in pen that this isw the only photo he has at present taken on board the S.S. Aroona
Thats all for now,there's no more soothing way to end than with a shot of a beautiful girl dont you think. Just look at that udder, MMmmmuuUH

Happy Birthday Alice

Hey Cuz, hope you're having a delicious 24th birthday! Gosh you're getting old, aren't ya?

Miss and love you lots xx Kel