Parable

THE PRODIGAL FOOT (A modern parable)



It’s the story of a man who gave his feet a new pair of shoes so that together they could all enjoy their upcoming overseas holidays. Not just any shoes mind, these were walkers and well branded. The type of shoes favoured by active ex prime ministers, men of steel some would say. They were not multi coloured as was the fashion in those days; they were black, plain black, monotone black. There was nothing revolutionary about this; they were in fact exactly the same brand, colour and style as the previous pair which they were replacing and therein lies the kernel of the tragedy that was to come.

You see the man paid serious attention to what he wore. He was proud, some would even say dandyish but there’s no fault in that. There are many who would regard it as a virtue. He had seen shoes on another man, and he lusted for them. Also monotone black and well branded their appeal was their simple line. Not a lot of swirling patchwork like his regular brand. He went searching for them and his search took him all over the town following leads. He lost a great deal of time and with holiday looming was forced to abandon the quest and purchase the tried swirling patchwork product.

With only days to go all seemed well, even his avarice for simple lines had passed, and then on the last day before departure he noticed it. The shoes had begun to feel different, or so it seemed. The right was not so cushiony comfortable as the left. He studied them closely and found that the tongues were sewn in differently. He compared them to the old pair and discovered that the left tongue was aberrant, at least in this small sample. But the left was the more comfortable so this provided scant satisfaction.

With so little time left he had to decide wether to take them back and this question was complicated by their source, the shop of a relative where already they were the subject of a generous discount. In this quandary he made his first mistake, he questioned the evidence presented by the right foot. Even worse he began to adopt an attitude to this foot, henceforth to be known as the ‘right’. ‘Get over it’ he began to say and of course the obedient right did not respond except along nerve pathways, its only form of expression.

Moving forward a couple of weeks we find this man and his feet somewhere in Italy, probably Tuscany, possibly Luca He and his feet have walked many kilometres across the likes of London, Galway, Paris and Venice, often carrying heavy backpacks and towing wheelie luggage. This luggage wheels well except when confronted by stairs, many of which are to be found in the Paris metro. ‘Right’ has by now become adept at sending messages through the nervous system. It has campaigned strongly for support, gained the attention of calf, shin and knee and is looking toward the back for what it sees as the mainstream support. ‘Left’ wants no part of this, is disdainful and encourages the man to believe that ‘right’ is just a reactionary whinger and bludger too boot (his left has a way with words). In a perfect world swapping the shoes would have been a perfect solution to settling the fight between the feet (”walk a mile in my shoes”)* but this is not a perfect world.

Throughout all this the man who probably feels guilty and compromised for having precipitated this friction with his procrastination and subsequent late purchase, oscillates in support between the two. Never quite comfortable to blame the shoes which are after all man made, he looks for scapegoats; pre existing conditions, right handedness, all that hefting of luggage, awkward sleeping positions, long air flights all get a guernsey but none are convincing in themselves

Three weeks later this trinity is home with the back now well and truly engaged on the side of the ‘right’. Anxious for some resolve, between the factions, and if possible from the nervous system’s now heavy traffic, the man begins to wear the old shoes. No miracle is forthcoming and raw nerves continue to prevail modified only by rest and an absolute void of luggage hefting.

Two week later the empirically minded man conducts the experiment of wearing once more the so called faulty shoes and his senses, though not capable of measurement, record a very distinct feeling of wrongness about the right as contradictory as that might sound. Thus encouraged and with the cooperation of the relative he returned the faulty pair exchanging them for a new pair. He would like to see the faulty go back to the manufacturer’s laboratory for an autopsy and receive in return a point by point description of the dissection along with relevant weights and measures. Unfortunately he too works in retail and fully comprehends the unlikeliness of such an outcome.

One week later and after exclusively wearing only the replacement pair at work and play the man recognises what he needs no scientist to explain. The steadying of traffic along the overwrought nervous system and the evenness of feeling from right and left adequately filled any remaining holes in the argument that the alleged faulty shoes were indeed guilty. All that’s left was the sensitive issue of an apology to ‘right’ for ever having doubted what it obviously knew from the beginning, but was not articulate enough to communicate. That the man, and mankind itself had failed it in its’ time of greatest need. That pride, envy and lust combined with blind faith in MANufacture could have combined to torture, imprison and defame an innocent; sounds to me like a parable for our times.

ANON


“Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.”

JACK HANDLEY

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