Some more good advice

Back fresh from another week on the gate, I’m in a good position to bring you, with your time consuming jobs and families, up to date with the world this week as witnessed through the periscope of The Sydney Morning Herald. Along with the periscope this week I could have made good use of a gas mask. The refinery next door with the rather pretty if common flower name Daffodil was in its “lets make stock by boiling down raw meat” phase. Just imagine the smell of mince meat left in the hot noon day sun multiplied a thousand times. I delight in asking our many curious customers who have ignored my “do you really want to know’ disclaimer “do you eat ice-cream, ..biscuits,…. Bread?” Ha it’s wonderful to watch people start to think.
Back to the news front and I’d have to say that any of you young folk not paying attention to goings on in China are just going to miss out on the opportunity of a lifetime.
In this land of opportunity where twenty six year old women who six years ago started in business with a foot massage stall are now multi billionaires, well yes perhaps facing life imprisonment for being too fast and too female is somewhat of a drawback, but what an example it sets. If that’s not enough how’s this for innovation, Chinese Forestry Bureau officials have had an entire quarry painted green to adjust the feng shui of the new office. Green paint, how simple, I tell you keep your eye on these Chinese. Perhaps Peter Garret could solve his problems about giving the nod to US bases by getting their agreement to paint them green. Political face saved and good feng shui as a bonus. Peter if you’re listening I’ve got lots of good ideas.
Another area it would not do any harm too look at is the eastern block . Here they believe that it’s never too soon to toughen up and develop a streak of masochism that will help you cope with a much greater degree of torture from future fascist regimes. Check out the mother precipitously supported by the father in towel and thongs dangling the baby for an icy baptism in a hole on the frozen lake in Saturdays Good Weekend. Just imagine what I could have achieved if only my neglectful mum and dad had provided such succor. If you are one of those namby pamby parents who don’t subscribe to these benign training rituals you should take a look at the proud Korean soldiers in Fridays World bathing in snow. Not interested, not even in those snow tensed six packs and nipples, take another look.
Nothing much more I’m afraid. Whatssisname beat Morris in the debate but not by enough for anyone to remember. Neither Johhnie nor his bovver boys, not even the mad monk have been able to penetrate the new opposition leaders bubble. Johhnie slagged Obama cracking about fourteen political correctness protocol nuts at once, laudable in my opinion but who cares what I think. Serena didn’t play any tennis this week and if Australia played cricket they had to content themselves with the sports pages. Truly the best story was of Eva Wisnierska who with the aide of a parachute and a couple of storm fronts floated to almost ten kilometers, up, set who knows how many Guinness book world records and survived apparently unscathed. She was able to report that unlike Icarus her wings did not melt but in fact froze possibly sending her into a state of suspended animation leaving her fourty minutes younger than she aught to be. She can correct this aberration as I do by napping during the day, more than an hour which results in the, as I call it, new day experience, which adds another day in age. By my latest estimation I am now nine hundred and ninety five years old however I’ve never received a prize for mathematics and if you believe this you are sillier than I am. Are you listening Peter?
Rereading this tommyrot I see I need to sleep and avoid embarrassment by re reading editing and publishing tomorrow. There aren’t many things that would convince me of the existence of a god but the cleverness of alcohol in its ability to make time fly effortlessly intervalled only by hunger and tiredness with no noticeable interference from other normal desires such as sex, warmth, acquisition etc. It can in fact make these desires seem positively foolish.
Well glad it is I am for that fine remnant of self consciousness last night, just a pity though that I couldn’t have applied the same restraint to that late night email to you Kel.
Lotsa love
Robert