Yoo Hoo I'm Back

It’s becoming increasingly apparent to me that I made a couple of wrong moves in this life’s game of chess, I mean there’s a ex catholic, dairy farm raised bloke out there about to take over the highest position in the land, yes he will he’s a shoo in as those yankies say - and Spell check agrees though not with yankies I note. Maybe if I had completed some tertiary education – finished an honors degree in Mandarin perhaps – persevered with my public service career, abandoned the Pope for the Archbishop of Canterbury – that’s so weird - who knows. My dad, who didn’t labor a point as I do, told me once, and I stress that once, that my public service job was good and that I should hang in there but it was obvious to me that he didn’t know anything. I mean what did a sixty plus year old geeser know about the potential rewards of State superannuation – a close competitor of parliamentary super - and what possible value could there be in super to a generation for whom there would obviously not be life beyond thirty.
I guess I could have been more of a joiner, you know clubs societies whatever, appeared as Phil the fire man does with a little more bling across the chest each time as I nominated for secretary, treasurer, President what the hell. I distinctly remember as a youngster when taking vocational or aptitude tests nominating ‘membership of boards” as my aspirational career but no one ever explained to me the path.
I’m sorry to belabor you all with this stuff but it’s just that when I have a tooth ache, a sore on my lip that wont heal and a computer that wont even light up the screen, not even one of those gibberish ones, that I start to feel suicidal. Yes that’s what all this is about, a computer malfunction. For almost two weeks now not the slightest sign of life and then like a hibernating bear it suddenly woke with its familiar Welcome to Microsoft greeting as if nothing had happened. No explanations of where it had been or what it had been doing, like the prodigal Mr. Computer I was to welcome it back, no questions asked, as of course I did with open arms.
Amazing isn’t it how a little technological glitch preys on these minor health and fiscal mole hills turning them into flame breathing mountainous dragons - think I’ve been watching too much bushfire footage actually – and inspire so much introspection. I wonder does Kevin suffer like this, no he’s probably got his own full time IT person, megabites of backup, and not a worry in the world.
I like Julia but I hate that new hairdo her boyfriend gave her. I imagine she hates it too but like the clever woman she is she cant tell him as it would crush his feeble male ego and ruin any further chance of sex. Can you imagine any male polli. having to forge on under such conditions. Hairdos aside her exceptional strine accent, pointed nose and elegant neck will together take her to heights only dreamed of by the likes of Amanda Vanstone, Bronwyn Bishop and Helen Clark. Why with the right perm she could be Australia’s own Marg Thatcher don’t you think?
I don’t want you to think that I don’t appreciate the amount of work that our leaders do for us, however I do think that regardless of not having stood, or sat or whatever it is that you do on boards I would be eminently qualified for the top job. I’ve watched the West Wing and Martin Sheen, alias The Pres. doesn’t have to pull off all that fast dialogue (monologue) stuff like the rest of the cast. Most of his time is spent in his luxurious office brooding and struggling with big philosophical issues, I could do that. When he does have to confront others they are allies or have already been broken in by allies and the risk of a bruising bucking is minimal. This is the job I was born for don’t you think? Plenty of IT experts and spare computers, on hand no worries. No mention you’ll note of the generous pollies super. I just want to serve my country.
With all that off my chest I now feel it’s possible to address matters of family. Firstly I can report that the great matriarch (my mum) is in fine health as is well evidenced by her consumption of Blinky Bills (hard to find these days) and Arnott’s Venecians. I’m becoming concerned however about the practicalities of the Christmas festivety arrangements. I’ve drawn up a wish list that starts with a Westpac Care helicopter return flight, closely followed by a St. Johns (are they still called that) return ambulance. Next comes a rented buss and driver on double time and a half which could be incorporated to move as many members of the family as might wish to indulge along with members of other families, scout groups, Korean tourists and any others who may contribute to the defraying of costs. Taxis both ways should not be ruled out I suppose, probably cheaper than any of the afore mentioned options and last and certainly least my little Diahtsu rickshaw with someone to operate the fan. Any ideas?
Secondly but of no less importance I feel that were I in a far flung part of the world inhabited by barbarians as those who live beyond our comely vale girt by seas must surely be, I’d be sweattin’ on some snaps from the recent gigs to keep abrace of civilization. A large part of my sense of deprivation when Mr. Computer fell asleep was the sure knowledge of all the blogs and accompanying photos I was missing, now I see that I did not have to sacrifice my finger nails so.
Third and last I love you all and am so glad to be back in your company, and looking forward to a big splash in the Epping Olympic pool.
Bye for now
Robert