Something old and something new

Well obviously, Kell, it’s much too soon to expect to see any photos posted from Luke and Jamie’s recent family day. Getting the film developed takes time you know, that’s if the rolls finished I mean, don’t want to waste film do ya. Not to mention the difficulty of having the snaps digitalized to fit them into the computer thingie, most of us would need some hi-tek assistance with that. For the time being you’ll just have to soothe your home sickness with with daily doses of those picks of the Gabba on TV that I’m sure you, as a fellow habituate of public houses, have been recently subjected too. As I write Peterson and Colingwood are driving, sweeping, hooking and generally slogging Warney to every boundary in a cause seemingly as hopeless as Galipoli that has at last woken the barmey army god bless them. Whoops there goes Colingwood for ninety six and here comes Flintoff who we love to hate.
Wednesdays heat and humidity moved in and took up residency in my poorly ventilated corner of Bunnings so that by Saturday I was recognizing breaths I had exhaled on Thursday. That sort of defined a week the theme song for which I chose as ‘I Don’t Feel Like Dancin” by the Scissor Sisters, not even had I been allowed to change into my dancing shoes. The girl buying aluminum tube to make fire twirling sticks was the only memorable light spot, did she have some moves. I think I rate baton twirling next to my favorite, Phisy (physical culture I think, Alice can explain) as my second favorite erotic female display.
I don’t get so much time to read the papers or watch the TV news these days though I was fortunate enough to catch Johnnie George and their mates in drag sometime this week. Those Chinese outfits don’t suit our Johhnie, though maybe his was a little too tight under the arms – he probably shouldn’t have worn it over his Wallaby’s tacky -
I just cant wait to see them all next year in their Steve Irwin Kakis, I recon Janet should lash out and include slouch hats, mmm that would show our Johnnie in a better light.
Actually I do have an item for the Bunnings paranoia file. They have a PA system playing elevator music most of which I fortunately, do not like, thus not running the risk of associating favorite tracks with work. Savagely cutting across the music come announcements from team – genuine human pleas for help in various causes such as “Team member from shelf hardware please take a call 610” and pre recorded random announcements such as “Security check to gate three” much too promptly answered by “Security acknowledged” to be believed by even the dumbest crook. In addition to this so called security device on some days they have live, so called store detectives usually disguised as bag ladies and junkie punks who’s role becomes obvious to we - team members - as we ask “can I be of assistance?” for the twenty fourth time or less in some cases.
Most of these so called undercover security staff just see out their shifts as we do but on Thursday we had a couple of bag ladies who must have watched too many episodes of the Keystone cops. It would not have surprised me if they had suddenly started moving at forty eight frames per second. My friend John visited that night, and after having recently received payment for a job that I had organized for him half a year ago, handed me an envelope. As I opened it and proceeded to count his much too generous wad of fifties I felt eyes boring into my back. You guessed it, the Keystone Cops. What they made of this I may yet find out.
Just now reading Kelly’s latest email where I think she has invented a wonderful new word. The word is "faltties" and all that is needs is a meaning. It’s not in any dictionary that I can find and a fuzzy search of Macquarie turns up "flatties" which it correctly describes as “plural noun colloquial a pair of flat heeled shoes.” In kell’s context it appears to be describing her flat mates not what some of them may be wearing, and certainly not in the weather conditions she describes. It seems therefore that she has deliberately created this new word which I find most appealing in its context as a collective noun for flat mates that tantalizingly hints at other words such as fault as in “who took my yoghurt” or “who left the iron on” and ties as in “the ties that bind”
How’s this sound then: FALTTIES collective noun for those with whom we share accommodation and forgive transgressions for the sake of camaraderie. Wadd’ya think Kell It’s your word.
Love to you all and keep those cards and letters coming
Robert