I Dun'no, Yada Yada I suppose

Dear Cat and Kell

Dear Sonja,

In anticipation of the flow on effect to the landlords ‘holding costs’ of the recent drop in interest rates, and the subsequent hand on by banks of point eight of a percentage point, will you be reconsidering the projected rent hike in December? I’m no expert but it seems to me that this drop in interest rates might put the landlord in an even better financial position than that he occupied when I undertook to rent from him six months ago and under these conditions he could even consider a rent reduction.

Regards

Robert O’Keefe

That’s the letter I wrote and sent to the estate agent this week and this was the response; at least from him this time and not his texting specialist lackey.

Dear Robert,
Thanks for your email. The issue of rent increase is always a difficult one. There is no easy way of saying this but landlords outgoings have gone up, been water, council and land tax. In terms of comparisons we have leased 2 one bedrooms this week one for $320p.w and the other for $300 in Stanmore.

Due to the activity in the current rental market, the shortage of properties available and the increase in the landlords outgoing’s, the rental of $260 per week is still reasonable and the rent increase will still take effect.

Please do not hesitate to contact us for any further information. (‘Yada Yada’)

Regards

Don Josipovic

Certainly there’s no easy way to speak of the landlords difficulty with his ‘been water’. It’s a topic that should be kept strictly between him and his doctor in my opinion and I’m sure you’d agree. I’ve no idea why Don raised it with me and wish he hadn’t. I suppose I could retort with a winge about my own life expectancy, point out that shortage of properties is his problem and that comparisons are odious (never understood that cliché but have always wanted to use it) but every time I try the thought of the landlords ‘been water’ disarms me.

Never mind, at least there’s good news. An Australian tourist was beaten to death in Goa by three Indian waiters because he was too arrogant with his beer order. Surely the word arrogant (better allocated to a Brit) is the result of poor translation and should have read any or all of the following; chunderous, racist, arswipe (Word suggests arsine, nearly as good, look it up), chauvinist, ignorant pig Aussie Aussie Aussie Oi Oi Oi. Apart from that, the notion that three Indian “oh yes sahib, anything else sahib” waiters would beat an Australian to death over a beer order raises in my mind a picture that John Cleese and Eric Idle would still swap their fortunes for today. One might kill a man in any amount of ways almost by accident but to beat a man to death takes great conviction and require serious sleight don’t you think? Then of course I feel the sub editors disappointment when the facts get in the way of a good headline. Yes the tourist was sixty five not twenty five and the waiters were joined by a security guard. I’m sixty two and unsure of how hard three young men would have to beat me to dispatch me from this vale of tears but suspect not as much as say Steve ‘beaver’ Menzies even without his bash hat. I’m sure Barry Humphries invented Sir Les Patterson as a satirical device, not as an example for Australians abroad so I was appalled to read recently of hostels and camp grounds in Spain displaying signs saying ‘No Aussies’ because of their disgusting behavior. Were not Americans (I Thought) We appreciate sarcasm (I thought). When I first traveled in the Viet Nam war period Australian was a badge of honor, probably only because of good PR or rather no PR in contrast to USA’s very bad PR. Now it seems we are in competition with the Americans for ‘The Ugly’ title. Not alone though I suspect, I recall the Israelis in the competition long ago and the Poms are always willing to give it a go.

Ringing round today to shore up a side for my family day next Sunday (at the Warren View twelve thirtyish in case I missed anyone) I discovered that all the other girls in the family excluding their favorite aunty, who had not been invited, and Hugh I guess, were at Jamie’s baby shower. Nigel* knows what that could mean but whatever it’s certainly secret women’s business to me. Is it any wonder that there are still only token cracks in the glass ceiling when those with the most lumps on their heads requiring butter, go off on these sexist girls only initiation camps.

I suppose I should say something about the current financial crisis to fulfil my obligation as a wise and respected elder. My superannuation fund didn’t do very well this year but I’m not blaming them, left to my devices I wouldn’t have one. I have noticed that as it swells it becomes a more potent factor in my reality and thus the threat of its loss a more potent loss though that said I guess I’m still closer to that end covered by the old proverb “when you’ve got nothing you’ve got nothing to loose”. From this perspective it strikes me that all this so called wealth is just a magician’s (have you noticed how cartoonists always dress bankers as magicians) smoke and mirrors trick. None of these billionaires go around with a million or two in each pocket; it’s all just numbers on a ledger somewhere. If they try to turn it into cash, especially if they all try to do it at the same time as we see now, a clearer picture of wealth develops not from but into the negative.

I guess it’s a greater blow to those already living on their investments like the nomads but judging by the grins on Sue and Chris’s faces in their latest blog, (I must get the name of their dentist) the news hasn’t yet reached north west Queensland (Baz Lurman’s own country) or as I suspect they have learned that other great proverb by heart “don’t worry be happy”.

Otherwise I see little to complain of in these marvellous machinations of the market place. My taxes are bailing out the bankers and they will remember their debt surely. Those for whom I care most, you young’ns listen up, will be able to enter the market on a less steep slope if that takes your fancy and all will be able to say that they weathered the crash of 08 and learned that it was 90% hype.

You two over in Blighty enjoy, continue to represent your homeland in the manner your aunty expects and never lose sight of how many Indian waiters are about. Looking forward to Christmas.

Your esteemed elder

Aunty

*copyrights applied for


PD Jack who recently recieved a golden handshake from Fairfaxe's Financial Review pointing west in his last editorial, to indicate the direction of the Australian economy.

He dosen't look worried