Some more Wisdom

IN PRAISE OF TIGHT CLOTHING
(A cautionary tale for homies or others who wear their belt below their bum)


After a life time of fitted, if not at times dam tight, costumery habits, I have recently discovered the pleasure of loose fit which, aided by bracers, provides me with comfort I’d never imagined possible. Not only comfort but the aesthetic delight of seeing materials fall and drape rather than stretch across bulges and bumps. A much more dignified look for one as senior as I.

Now however I’m beginning to see the pitfalls hidden within this new delight. Rather like the plant freed from the confine of its pot which goes on to swell in all directions I am finding that no matter how great the girth of my trousers my body attempts to and succeeds in filling it. Yes I’m aware that nutrients play a big role in the plants unrestricted growth and accept that the restriction of same can diminish and control the scale of it. However I insist that my nutrient pool has not increased, if anything it has diminished, and I can find no better explanation for this phenomena than that provided by my mother when presenting me with an elder siblings of-cast clothing “don’t worry dear, you’ll grow into them”.

Are we are pre determined by the double helix of our DNA to invade and occupy all available space? Is this the source of our discontent with an ever exploding population? Had I the wealth I would be endowing the great institutes of learning with doctoral scholarships and twenty second century laboratories dedicated to these studies but alas I am destitute and can barely afford the payments to Target for the next larger size jeans let alone the bracers which some of you may be surprised to know, do wear out.

Enough introspection, lets look outward on this bright warm almost spring like winters day and as we walk down Coronation Street, North Marrickville and notice that the warning on that no through road sign was quite genuine. In this dead end, as it was referred to by a previous generation of Marrickville residents, we notice that phenomena, peculiar to dead ends, that I call suburban security, the tell tale signs of which are the pot plants, bikes, outdoor furniture, elements of indoor furniture, artworks and valued collections left unsecured in front yards. Apparently there is a stronger sense of community and security amongst these who do not have to weather the wear and tear of through traffic and I shall in future include these studies along with my ever harped aspect, in my lectures to house hunting youngn’s and petty thieves.

One of the problems with these long ranging morning walks is the unexpected call of nature, one of which was just now delivered, (if only we could turn off our mobile call of nature device) but no worries, heres Marrickville Metro shopping centre where at this time on a Sunday morning one should be able to find a clean cubicle. Aaahh nice, even if the seat feels disconcertingly warm for this time of day. We of the first world are much too sensitive about our bodily functions. We could do with a lesson or two from somewhere like rural India where deprived of any notion of privacy one queues at the railway line the favoured spot for a morning dump, where the banked ballast provides a convenient drop. Now washing my hands and seeing myself in those vast public lavatory mirrors for the first time today I realise why so many dogs have barked at my passing this morning. This bright yellow Mexican style Micky Mouse motif bandanna combined with a wolf man amount of grey facial hair makes me look like a Queensland Blue Heeler. Oh sorry, introspection again, must look outward, must look outward.

Now I’ve returned from the glorious winter sunshine in Camperdown Park where I digested my grilled fish to the accompaniment of Stravinsky and the cries and laughter of playful youth. At least till a lad who did not look at all like Tom Cruise set up camp meters away to practise his inept bar juggling skills with bottles and shakers to a background track of indescribable machine noise from something loud. Before looking around I’d imagined someone was playing a very loud video game car racing machine but no, it was either just the sort of sound this uncoordinated lout liked or a recording of the environment he has to work in from which he hopes to draw some discordant rhythm. As I left I suggested that he might improve his skills to the accompaniment of music but judged by his lack of response that he did not understand English.

Bunnings held their Spring Launch last week, yes a glittering spectacular of all the latest in hardware and DIY home improvement accoutrement at Homebush. I was scheduled for the afternoon session on Wednesday, the last day, when unfortunately most of the hardware fashion houses had run out of show bag/bucket items so I missed out on the mini hammer bottle opener (if the nail puller/opener end doesn’t work you just smash it with the other) but at least I got the bucket. My friend Megan and I car pooled and though much to her distress we were too late for the luncheon Dirty Hot Dog ( thank you Bob Dylan) we had a nice time exploring Olympic Park and Homebush Bay as well as an interesting for Megan (she’s never been west of the Princes Highway) and nostalgic for me, two way trip. Most of you probably don’t appreciate how many loads of rubbish I dumped at Homebush Tip as my contribution to the development of the Olympic Village. Megan now does, she’s such a dear listener and you of course do know how I love to talk. That occupied a good six hours of Wednesdays shift and with a sixty five cent per kilometre reimbursement for my vehicle costs I should make a profit.

Unfortunately with stocktaking this week I have been induced to work on Monday, tomorrow, with Friday off. I am trying to impress on them the sacrifice this represents to one so set in routine as I. I mean what about the washing, when will I shop, how will my loaf of bread last, when should I get it. It’s a very big ask and they should appreciate it don’t you think? They shouldn’t be surprised if this disruption brings on a very large bout of inoperable flu.

Well If you have read this far you are a winner and all you need to do is to comment (criticise, curse it doesn’t matter) to receive the prize of a beautiful five piece combination 6-10mm gold plated spanner set in velvet lined case.

Congratulations

Aunty