For Kell

Thats better, Every picture tells a story dont it, someone even added speech baloons to this one. I swear Hugh and I never had mullets but can find no explaination for those suspicious shadows below our ears.
You wo’nt get too much out of me tonight, I’m too calm and happy. Saturdays Bolognaise is sitting comfortably. The never ending cardboard cask is running nicely. The More-ish Macadamia Cottage Cookies wait unopened least they be called for. The delightful Clare Hooper has once more stolen the Side Show from Paul McDermot, does it get better than this? I can’t even find much to complain about in the recently departed week. There was variety, I spent Wednesday counting for stock take; 832 Mortien insect bomb, 912 AA batteries-pack of five, 1083 red wood door wedge, you get it, like Sesame Street. Thursday and Friday were beautiful days spent outdoors at the gate even beginning to enjoy the police role; “do you want to look in mi boot mate” “should I want to look in your boot mate”. Ahh; the games. Maybe I missed my calling. Today my mate Pete the Greek an invalid from the feet up, and its reached his shoulder, ran the gate as a light duties operation while I afforded him his breaks. This placed me in the best of both worlds, limited as they are, where my bipolar responsibilities to customer service in hardware and policing at the gate provided me with a sort of self employed persona where only I knew where I should be and when. Strongly reminiscent of my early public service experiences realy, but that’s another story. Now what’s this “The Bill” My favorite show as Alice will tell anyone willing to listen. Humph, you might get a blog after all. No forget that, SBS’s serving up the Eurovision Song Contest, Life does get better. Might just open those Cottage Cookies and get a refill, scuse me.

Where was I, Oh Yeah , lack of angst equals lead ball blog well I’m sorry but it’s about time you philistines stopped living off the backs of us artist yypes, Hmmm yypes ius good, shibbus you think, Olaks n’all what’s happening, Mr. Computers inventing a whole new language

Bet your glad I quit when I did last night, I certainly am. Hope you all had a wonderful Mothers Day and congratulations to any of you mothers watching. All day I kept thinking I should be somewhere and was relieved when I realized it was just the oncoming alzheimers like when I caught myself at Woolies the other day starring absently at the Goulburn Valley preserved fruit shelves.

What about those folk at sixty minutes, finally busting the Nigerian scam, it’s amazing isn’t it, not the scam, the bust, and the fact that Chanel 9 expect us to believe their actors posing as victims were taken in. Who could be so gullible, well, maybe these folk. Wish I’d paid more attention; I’ve still got a perfectly good Harbor Bridge for sale.

Better still what about that dagy Serbian girl winning the Eurovision blah. Reminds me of the photos I saw of Walters Serbian neighbor’s daughter’s wedding. Walter and his family were guests at the event that started at nine with a tumbler of Schnapps and a beer chaser at the purpose built under house reception center and ended for Walter and family at three o’clock when the couple were finally wed and off to their reception. Lucky for Walter, his wife Micky was not expected to join in the boys macho drinking games so she could drive. As for Maryana and her groom, I guess if there strong enough to survive that then there tough enough for anything that life may throw there way. All Walter can remember is a blur of animal carcasses and the coffee van that turned up post breakfast, pre nuptials-very civilized.

Makes you wonder what Alice and Jack might have up their sleeves eh. Not me though as I have a much better idea of their budget, ethnic origins and the expectations of their most important guests. Something too look forward to though isn’t it. It’s crossed my mind to try to incorporate my family day, just kidding he he. I’m actually looking forward to hosting you all at Stanmore, yeah plenty of room as long as you all come by public transport. Just kidding again, no not about Stanmore, just about public transport.

What about Kelly’s date a! D’yuh think she’ll marry him. Maybe if she can hold back the burps long enough. The early stages of romance are so sensitive aren’t they. So much easier post nuptial when you can belch and fart to your hearts-no make that bowels-content. Don’t worry mum she was very well behaved. I’m sorry Kell, I realise that now you will have to keep the Okeefe’s blog secret from Martin but as I’ve said your emails crack me up, it’s your fault, I can’t help it. You have my permission to edit this out should it be necessary. PS what does it mean that he’s not covered in blood?

Mr. Computer has been very well behaved since I discovered his addiction to WD-40, I should have guessed that as a machine he would crave the stuff. He’s currently keeping me entertained with Mark Bolans “Children of the Revolution” which contains that possibly best ever lyric, “I’ve got a Rolls Royce cause it’s good for my voice”. I love you Mr. Computer, Only recently he was entertaining me with Lou Reed’s Sweet Jane who’s life was saved by rock and roll and now the Marvellets are pleading to Mr. Postman for a letter of the type I suspect Kell would like to receive from Martin. Sorry Kell I promise to get off your back soon and that would be email of course, who’s ever heard of a letter.

Better go now least I once more start Kelly baiting, or Mr. Computer starts up writing in that funny language of his. Love you all, really. Bye.